


Will you catch me?

by Kapoen



Series: Three doctors and a musician [1]
Category: The Witcher (TV), Wiedźmin | The Witcher - All Media Types
Genre: Allergies, Asthma, Bathing/Washing, Blood Tests, Doctor Geralt, Food Poisoning, Grieving, Hospitals, Hurt Jaskier | Dandelion, M/M, Needles, Non-Consensual Kissing, Non-Consensual Touching, Panic Attacks, Running Away, Vomiting, doctor Lambert, doctor eskel, father figure Eskel, father figure lambert, just one short scene
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-30
Updated: 2020-11-02
Packaged: 2021-03-07 20:08:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 15
Words: 33,195
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26733379
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kapoen/pseuds/Kapoen
Summary: Jaskier has just moved from Lettenhove to Cintra. When he needs to get his allergy medication refilled, the doctor wants to do some blood tests. The only problem is that Jaskier always passes out when he gets blood taken. As he doesn’t know anyone in town yet, he decides to ask a random, strong looking man in the waiting room to help catch him. With that simple question, Jaskier’s life changes forever. He meets the Witchers – three rich doctors, who decide that they like Jaskier, and try to help him out with the challenges life throws at him.
Relationships: Aiden/Lambert (The Witcher), Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia/Jaskier | Dandelion
Series: Three doctors and a musician [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1982519
Comments: 182
Kudos: 295





	1. Doctor Rivia

**Author's Note:**

> I know here are probably a lot of spelling and grammar mistakes. I’m sorry for that. I’m doing my best but English isn’t my first language.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jaskier goes to the hospital and meets doctor Rivia

**Chapter 1: Doctor Rivia**

Jaskier sat in a chair waiting for the doctor to come and get him. He looked around the waiting room nervously. He had just moved to Cintra, and he didn’t know this doctor. He was only here because he needed a refill of his medication. He had even managed to save a little money on this visit. Maybe one day he’d be able to afford insurance, and then he wouldn’t have to stress about this every month.

“Mr Pankratz?” Jaskier looked up to see an older doctor call his name. “Yes, that’s me” he responded, standing up. He took a deep breath while walking towards the doctor – he looked nice enough. He could do this. Everything would be fine. The doctor took him into what appeared to be a standard doctor’s office – there was a bed, lots of cupboards and drawers with labels stating what various medical items were stored in there. The doctor sat down at the desk, inviting Jaskier to sit in the chair next to it. “I’m Doctor Wisberg, your new allergist.” the doctor introduced himself. “Jaskier” he responded, shaking the doctor’s hand. “God, I hope he doesn’t notice how much my hand is shaking” Jaskier thought. “that would be so embarrassing!” “So, Jaskier, what can I do for you today?” Doctor Wisberg asked him, smiling kindly.  
What followed was a fairly boring conversation about his allergies – He had a lot of them. Pepper, pollen, most animals, as well as most herbs and peanuts. While the conversation wasn’t terrible, Jaskier was sweating nervously throughout the whole thing – he knew that the doctor would require some bloodwork done. Jaskier wasn’t good with blood to say the least. Whenever he had bloodwork done, he passed out. He had tried everything he could think of to help, but he still ended up passing out every time. As it was though, Jaskier was embarrassed to tell the doctor this – he was 20 years old for goodness sake! He should be able to cope with a needle! He also knew that even if he did tell the doctor, it would make no difference – he wouldn’t be able to refill his medication without it.

“Just go downstairs, and hand the nurse this form” Doctor Wisberg said, whilst handing him said form. “If anything unusual shows up, I’ll give you a call. Otherwise, I’ll write up that refill for you.” Jaskier took the form with shaking hands. “Ok, great, thank you!” he said forcing a smile at the doctor. The man couldn’t help that Jaskier had an irrational phobia! He walked out of the doctor’s office, trying to convince himself that he could do this – it was just a little blood, it’s not like he would die from it! It probably wouldn’t even hurt that much! Jaskier could feel himself getting more and more anxious – his breath was coming faster, and he was feeling slightly dizzy. “Keep it together Jaskier!” he thought to himself while heading towards the stairs. He took a moment to collect himself before going downstairs and managed to get his breathing more under control.

Once he got downstairs, he saw that the waiting room for pathology was packed. He stood in the line to give the paperwork to the nurse. As he stood there, he felt himself start to breathe faster again. He looked around and saw a little girl who looked about as scared as he was. A man (Jaskier assumed it was her father,) gave her a hug. “Why did I move here?” Jaskier wondered briefly. “I have no friends or family here to hug me”. Before he could follow that train of thought any further, he heard the nurse call “Next!” and he quickly walked to the front of the line. Passing her the form, he noticed that his hands were shaking again. “Um, just so you know, I pass out when people take my blood sometimes” he told her. He knew that it was important to tell the nurse that. Plus, sometimes they had nurses who were trained for people who passed out, like him. Otherwise, they usually took him to a room where he could lie down.

The nurse looked at him with obvious displeasure. “Well then, you shouldn’t be here alone should you? It’s too busy today for me to find you a nurse to hold your hand, so you can either be a big boy, and let me take your blood like everyone else, or you can go home and come back another time with a friend or family member.” She handed him a different form back, and looked at him, clearly waiting for an answer. He took a deep breath and nodded before walking into the waiting room. Going home wasn’t an option – he only had two days’ worth of medication left. “Guess I’ll just have that for once I won’t pass out…” he thought to himself.

Jaskier sat in the one empty chair in the room and put his shaking hands between his knees. Jaskier had only moved to Cintra a few weeks ago. He had no friends or family members in this city – he was truly alone. He swallowed nervously. Maybe he should just go home? He didn’t want to pass out and hit his head or something – they’d surely send him to get medical attention then, and he couldn’t afford a head injury! But if he didn’t get this blood test done, then he wouldn’t get his refill, and that wasn’t an option. He needed a plan.

Looking around, Jaskier hoped that maybe he would see a poster about blood sample buddies, or- Jaskier’s eyes fell on a man standing in the corner, doing something on his phone. He was tall, muzzled and most importantly, didn’t look busy. He definitely looked strong enough to catch Jaskier if necessary. “No Jaskier, this is a bad idea. An unbelievably bad idea! You can’t just walk over to random guys and ask if they would catch you!”  
Despite Jaskier’s inner monologue reminding him what a terrible idea this was, Jaskier felt himself stand up. Was he really doing this? He should really just turn around and sit back down. He walked over to the guy. “Ok, yep, this is happening. We’re really doing this. Ok Jaskier, just play it cool” he thought to himself. “Um, hi.” He squeaked to the man. Looking up from his phone, the guy looked at Jaskier briefly, before focusing on his phone again. “Hello” he replied to Jaskier, obviously not interested in a conversation. “Well,” Jaskier thought to himself, “I’ve already walked over here, may as well ask!” He cleared his throat, and before he could change his mind, he blurted out “Are you busy right now?” The man looked at him, obviously confused by the question. To be fair, it was a fairly odd question to ask someone who you had never met or even seen before. Jaskier just hoped the man wouldn’t yell at him.  
“I work here, just finished my shift.” The man responded. “I’m just waiting for my brother to finish his shift as well.” He was looking up and down at Jaskier, obviously confused as to what exactly was happening right now. “Great” Jaskier thought, ”He obviously thinks I’m crazy. Or maybe he thinks I’m trying to flirt?” Whatever the man thought, Jaskier decided to clear things up fairly quickly.

“UmsoIneedtogetabloodtestandI’mgoingtopassoutandthereisn’tanursetohelpmeandIdonthaveanyfriendsorfamilymembersthat-“ he blurted out in one breath. “Woah there buddy, slow down. I’m not gonna hurt you, just take a breath and try again ok?” The man quickly interrupted him. Jaskier took a deep breath and started again. “Right, ok. So, I need to get a blood test and I know I’m gonna pass out. There isn’t a nurse free to help me, and I don’t have any friends or family nearby to call. I just don’t want to pass out and hit my head or something, cause that is definitely something that would happen to me, and I know it really shouldn’t be a big deal…” Oh great, now he was rambling. “… um anyway, you look strong and I really hoped that you might…. Might be able to catch me?” By the time Jaskier had gotten to the end of the sentence, he was practically squeaking at the man. The stranger looked at Jaskier with obvious confusion on his face. “Ok, just to make sure I understand, are you asking me to catch you if you pass out when the nurse takes a blood sample?” Jaskier was quickly realising how stupid he sounded. Who asked a stranger to do that? This guy was probably going to tell his brother all about the weird crazy guy who asked if he would catch him if he passed out. They would definitely laugh about it together. This was definitely the most embarrassing thing Jaskier had ever done. And he’d done a LOT of embarrassing things in his life.

Jaskier took a step back. “You know what, never mind! I uh, I’ll just not pass out.” God, Jaskier felt like an idiot. He quickly turned around and started to walk away. “Wait!” the stranger called out. “I’ll help you. Just follow me ok?” Jaskier turned to the man. Was he being serious? He was really going to help him? But why did he have to follow him? Oh god, he probably thought Jaskier was crazy. He was probably going to take him to some sort of psychiatrist. He quickly tried to backtrack. “I’m not sure, the nurse is over there.” He said, pointing to them. The stranger was walking over to the elevator and turned around upon hearing this. “I’ll take your blood myself, in my office. I am a doctor, you know.”  
Jaskier felt like slapping himself. “Of course he’s a doctor, he said he worked here at the hospital. Idiot” He thought to himself, quickly following the man. Maybe it would all work out after all. “Maybe this guy is a specialist? Hopefully he doesn’t send me a huge bill. I can barely afford for the nurse to take my blood, let alone a specialist!” While the elevator travelled to the top floor, Jaskier turned to the man and introduced himself. “My name is Jaskier by the way. I really didn’t mean to cause any trouble. I only just moved here a few weeks ago – I’m hoping to find work here in Cintra. Um, is having you take my blood expensive?” He figured it would be better to find out now, while he could still back out. “You’re in luck – today, I take blood for free. But don’t you have insurance?” the man asked, smiling kindly. Jaskier shook his head and turned away, ashamed. “I can hardly afford food at the moment, so insurance is a pretty low priority right now.” The man made a sound at the statement, clearly unhappy with the answer.

The elevator arrived, and he followed the man to a big white door with the words: “Doctor/Director Rivia” written on it. Wait a moment… Jaskier knew that name! “You’re Lambert Rivia, the famous doctor!” he gasped. “You did that heart thing right? And you saved a baby! You’re the director of this hospital! Are you going to send me to a-“ Lambert held up a hand with a smile, effectively cutting Jaskier off mid-sentence. Pointing over to a big chair in the corner with some incredibly soft looking pillows on it and directed him to sit. “Please, call me Lambert” He said kindly, while taking the form the nurse had given to Jaskier. He turned the computer on and started to quickly read Jaskier’s form. “I’ll need to take a quick look at your file, is that ok?” he asked. Jaskier quickly nodded – the man – Lambert - was doing him a huge favour, he couldn’t exactly refuse him something as simple as checking his file.

Lambert’s face quickly changed when he looked at Jaskier’s file. “I can see here you have quite a few other medical conditions. Are you being treated for your asthma at another hospital? I can’t see any recent treatment plans listed for you.” Jaskier looked away, once again ashamed. “No, but I don’t get attacks that often anymore. It isn’t necessary.” Truthfully, the main reason was that Jaskier simply couldn’t afford any of the required medications – his inhalers alone were $80 each!

Lambert walked over to Jaskier. “Do you mind if I give you a quick exam?” Jaskier bit his lip. He really wanted to refuse – he hated getting poked and prodded – but he still needed Lambert to help him with his blood sample. “Sure” he agreed. “Excellent” Lambert said smiling at him again. “If you wouldn’t mind taking your shirt off please?” After he had taken his shirt off, Lamber sat down on a stool in front of him. “I’m just going to start by taking your blood pressure ok?” he said, putting the cuff around Jaskier’s arm. The cuff quickly tightened, and Lambert put a stethoscope on Jaskier’s arm and listened. After a few seconds, lambert took the cuff off, with a small frown on his face. “A little bit too high for my liking” he said. “I’m just going to have a quick listen to your lungs now.” The stethoscope was moved to his chest. Jaskier appreciated the doctor taking the time to explain what he was doing – most doctors weren’t that polite. He tried to breathe calmly and deeply while the doctor listened, but Lambert’s face had another small frown on it, and Jaskier knew he wasn’t happy with what he had heard. “I’m guessing you were very stressed about getting your blood taken?” the doctor asked. Sighing, Jaskier nodded affirmative. He could imagine that his lungs weren’t too happy about the small panic attack. Lambert hummed at his response, before removing the stethoscope, and telling Jaskier that he could put his shirt back on. Moving back to his desk, Lambert started typing things up on his computer. Jaskier watched him uncomfortably. Maybe he shouldn’t have asked Lambert to help him?

Lambert started to cross off a few extra things on Jaskier’s form. Jaskier took a deep breath – he needed to get some control back in this situation. “Did the other doctor forget something?” he asked. Lambert looked up at him, like he had forgotten he was there. Looking at Jaskier, the doctor’s face relaxed, and he smiled gently at him. “Well, you have me a little bit worried here kid. While Doctor Wisberg has everything here to check your allergies, I would also like to check a few other things in your blood. I think you may have a vitamin shortage, along with a couple of other things. What’s your diet like? Do you eat healthy?” Jaskier looked away, feeling his cheeks flush with embarrassment. The doctor was asking questions he didn’t really want to answer, because he knew the doctor would judge him. Looking away, he responded “Well money is pretty tight at the moment, but I try to eat healthy things like apples. Apples are cheap.” He knew Lambert was staring at him, but he couldn’t bring himself to look the doctor in the eyes. He knew that he would see pity there. Like the woman at the shop when he passed out. She made him eat two sandwiches and a piece of chocolate, as well as making him drink a glass of milk. She had even tried to take him to a homeless shelter. He had a home! He had a home, and soon enough he would have a job as well.

“So, what have you eaten today?” Lambert asked, bringing him back to the present conversation. Jaskier felt his heart sink.


	2. Panic!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jaskier gets his blood taken by doctor Rivia.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter has a graphic scene were Jaskier gets his blood taken.
> 
> I re-uploaded this chapter because Amy_C, the beta to this story, made it so much better! She is amazing!

**Chapter 2 Panic!**

“So, what have you eaten today?” Lambert asked, bringing Jaskier back to the present conversation. Jaskier felt his heart sink. Biting his lip, he briefly considered lying to the doctor. He quickly dismissed the idea though – lying to a doctor was never a good idea, no matter how ashamed he was. Besides, it would probably show up in his bloodwork anyway. Resigning himself to the fact that the doctor was probably going to be furious at him, he replied “I had an egg for breakfast, and some leftover chicken from a few days ago for lunch.” The doctor looked at him seriously, and asked “How long is a few days ago?” Feeling his heart sink again, Jaskier replied in a small voice “…three.” The doctor’s eyes widened – “You ate chicken from three days ago?!” Jaskier flinched – Lambert was almost yelling at him. Jaskier quickly responded in a quiet voice “I was just so hungry. I know that eating three-day old chicken isn’t generally a good idea, but it was that or pass out ok?” Maybe the doctor would understand? Lambert looked at him with sadness in his eyes. He sighed and said “You are probably going to get food poisoning from that kid – you can get really sick with food poisoning. Make sure you keep your fluids up, because you’re soon going to be vomiting everything up-“ Jaskier quickly interrupted him “Yeah, I’ve had food poisoning before, I know the drill. Besides, its not like I’m exactly busy – I have plenty of time to spend vomiting.” His weak attempt at a joke fell flat as the doctor just stared at him. “You need to take better care of yourself kid. Now, lets take these blood samples.”

Jaskier  felt his heartrate speed up, and his breathing quicken. With all the drama of the potential food poisoning, he had forgotten about the  blood tests for a moment. He took a deep breath. This was why he was here. It had to happen – there was no alternative. Stupid allergies!  Lambert stood up and opened one of the many cupboards  around the room, grabbing a few tubes and a needle. Jaskier felt his breathing start to get faster – this was really happening now . Jaskier was beginning to feel dizzy, and he could feel himself on the edge of a panic attack.  Lambert turned to him, looking concerned. “Deep breaths for me now kid .” Jaskier tried desperately to slow his breathing down, but it wasn’t working.  He gave Lambert a desperate look. Lambert quickly took a tourniquet from the cupboard he was rummaging through and walked over to Jaskier. Kneeling in front of him he started talking in a soothing voice “Easy  there kid. Try to take deep breaths . I’m going to help you lie on the bed now  ok? Everything is going to be fine .” Jaskier was trying desperately to believe the doctor, but how could everything be fine when the room was  spinning, and he felt  like he was suffocating?

With the doctor ’ s  help, Jaskier slowly stood up and made his way over to the bed. He was secretly glad the doctor was holding on to him, because with the way his knees were shaking, he would probably collapse the moment Lambert let go . Pushing him to sit on the bed, Lambert helped Jaskier  take off his shoes.  “ Let’s get that shirt off again yeah?” Lambert said gently.  Jaskier was too busy trying to control his breathing to really help the doctor as his shirt was manipulated.  The doctor gently pushed Jaskier’s shoulders  down and lifted his legs up to get him lying down.  Jaskier felt  tears welling up in his eyes. He was sweating and honestly couldn’t control his breathing anymore. “I don’t want this” he whispered  desperately to Lambert. The doctor sat down on a stool next to the bed , having brought the  required equipment for the blood test over with him on a small table.  “You’re going to be ok – I will help you through this .” Jaskier felt the doctor’s hand soothingly  stroking  his hair, moving it out of his face . “You have to breath though kid, or you’re going to trigger an asthma attack .” Moving Jaskier’s hands so that they were resting on his stomach, Lambert coached him through slowing his breathing down . His breathing was almost back to normal when he heard “That’s really good. You’re breathing pretty much normally now.  You’re going to be ok.”

Lambert then gently pushed Jaskier’s face so that he was looking at the wall, rather than at the doctor. Jaskier knew that this meant that Lambert was going to start taking his blood now. “So, tell me what kind of work you are looking for.” Lambert asked him. Jaskier could hear the doctor doing something with the needle. He closed his eyes and tried to focus instead on the answer to Lambert’s question. Feeling the tourniquet being placed on his arm, Jaskier quickly started talking. “I want to be a musician. I write music.” He started. He suddenly felt something cold being wiped on his arm and flinched. “Easy kid, it’s just the alcohol wipe.” Lambert said soothingly. “A musician huh? Is that what made you move here?” Squeezing his eyes shut even harder, Jaskier tried to get his brain to focus on something other than the urge to flee. “I lived in a small village, there was no further-“ There was a sharp pinch in his arm, and Jaskier realised that the needle was now in his arm. He started to talk faster, trying to think about anything other than the needle that was currently in his arm. “There weren’t any more opportunities for me there. I was hoping to pay in a bar, maybe get on the radio. It didn’t work though, and now all my savings are gone. I don’t really know what to do now. I just wanted to make people happy.”

Unable to talk anymore,  Jaskier squeezed the skin on his belly with his free hand in order to try and focus on something else .  Through the  ringing in his ears, he vaguely heard Lambert tell his he was done.  After a few seconds, Jaskier opened his eyes slowly, turning his head  to  look at his arm. The tourniquet was gone and there was a small bandage on his lower arm. He glanced at the  table and saw four tubes full of blood. The sight made him feel dizzy again, the room starting to spin once more.  “ Easy, take a deep breath. In for one, two, three, four, and out for two, three, four.”  Lambert guided Jaskier to lie back down as he spoke.  Jaskier followed the counts and slowly felt his heart rate return to something that could almost be considered as normal. Why couldn’t he just act like an adult? Jaskier was so embarrassed that he just fell apart as soon as someone tried to take his blood.

Everything in the room was still moving, and he could feel sweat dripping down his face. He also felt extremely nauseated. He realised that Lambert  had placed a  damp cloth  on his forehead and was now placing another on the back of his neck. It felt good. “Just concentrate on taking deep breaths for me” Lambert was saying.

Slowly, the nausea abated, and Jaskier felt confident enough to open his eyes again slowly.  He looked around the  room and noticed that the tubes that had set him off  a moment ago were gone now. “I’m starting to feel better now ” he told Lambert. With the doctor’s hands helping to hold him steady, Jaskier carefully sat up. “Easy now kid, just take it slow ”. After watching Jaskier for a moment, the doctor was apparently satisfied in Jaskier’s ability to sit unassisted, as he turned away and went to the sink. “How do you feel now?” Lambert asked, handing Jaskier the cup of water he had obviously just gotten from the sink.

Jaskier took a deep breath. “Fine. I feel fine now  that it’s over.” He slowly got up off the  table. He finished the cup of water before starting to put his shirt and shoes on again.  H e noticed Lambert was hovering fairly close to him , as if he expected Jaskier to fall. Actually, that was probably smart – Jaskier still didn’t feel all that steady. Lambert didn’t need to know  that, however. “Thank you ” he said to Lambert. He was  incredibly grateful to the doctor – this would have been way worse if the doctor hadn’t taken pity on him in the waiting room. The doctor was probably still going to laugh at him as soon as he left the room , but Jaskier decided that it was worth it.

Lambert looked at him and smiled gently. “Not a problem kid. Now tell me, how are you getting home?”  Crap. Jaskier hadn’t thought about that.  He didn’t have a car, and he couldn’t afford the bus, so he generally just walked everywhere.  Well, it wasn’t like he had another option right now was it? “I’ll be walking home ” he replied. Lambert made an unhappy sound.  “ I don’t think that’s a good idea . You just had a pretty big panic attack . How about I give you a ride?”  Jaskier’s brain ground to a halt. The doctor was going to give him a  ride? “uh, no that’s ok, I’ll be fine . I walk all the time – it’s great, it means I don’t have to pay for a gym membership or anything . Besides, you’ve already done so much for me already.” He was babbling . Why couldn’t he just act like a normal person around the doctor? At this point, Jaskier would even settle for a little bit normal!  Lambert interrupted Jaskier’s  rambling “It’s no trouble at all. Besides, it would make me feel better. So really, this is more for me than for you. Come on, I’ll take you to my car.” Jaskier wasn’t dumb enough to turn down an offer like that. Besides, the doctor was probably right about it not being a good idea to walk – he was still feeling fairly  shaky and had not been looking forward to the  thirty-minute walk . He quickly followed Lambert to the parking garage.

On the  way, Jaskier noticed that Lambert was still walking fairly close to him, as if he still expected Jaskier to pass out.  To be honest, Jaskier couldn’t blame him after his behaviour from the past 30 minutes or so. They stopped  next to a Tesla. Lambert opened the back door him “Go on then, in you get” he said. Jaskier looked at the car. It was beautiful ! He had never seen a Tesla this close before.  It kind of looked like something from Star Wars.  He was a little confused as to why he was sitting in the back though. Just as he turned to ask Lambert, another man appeared , presumably another doctor  judging by his nametag and  key  card hanging around his neck. “Hey Lam, sorry I’m late. Who’s your friend?” the new doctor asked. There was a huge scar on his face, but the man had a gentle  and friendly  smile.  “This is Jaskier. I helped him out today, and we are giving him a ride home ” Lambert explained. “Are you Lambert’s brother?” Jaskier asked, remembering  the original conversation between Lambert and himself. The scarred man nodded. “I’m Eskel , a gastroenterologist.  It’s nice to meet you” he said as he shook Jaskier’s hand.  “Hi. I’m Jaskier. I’m a musician. Sort of.” He didn’t really feel like explaining all of the mistakes he had made in the past year, so he left it at that. 

Once they were in the car, Lambert started to pull out of the parking garage. “You should give him your number Eskel .” Lambert was saying. “The idiot ate three-day old chicken this morning.” There was a strange mix of anger and concern in his voice . Jaskier wondered why. It wasn’t like the doctor could possibly care about him – they had only met an hour ago!  Eskel turned around in his seat to face Jaskier. “Why did you do that?” he asked.  “Great, another lecture.”  Jaskier thought. “That’s really dangerous you know! People can die from food poisoning especially salmonella…” Eskel continued, but Jaskier tuned out the lecture – he was too tired to focus on something like that. He looked out the window. He  was feeling pretty stupid right now, sitting in a car worth more than everything he owned put together, with two super smart doctors. Lambert had even called him an idiot! Maybe he was an idiot – it wasn’t like this was the first time it had been said to him. Maybe they were telling the truth. Everything he did last year  could be considered proof that he was stupid.

“You ok?” Jaskier startled at the voice . He realised Eskel was tapping on his knee. Jaskier looked at him. “Yeah, I’m fine.” Eskel didn’t look convinced. “We asked for your address a few times and you didn’t answer. Guess you were zoning out.” Jaskier looked away,  embarrassed, and told them the address.  “I’m sorry.” He added quietly on the end.  “It’s all good, you had a rough day” Lambert said. Looking at his hands , Jaskier realised that he hadn’t apologised for making the doctor help him earlier in the day. “ I’m sorry about before. I behaved like a child today, over something as minor as letting someone take my blood. Next time I won ’ t be an idiot” he said  quickly. Lambert let out a short laugh. “Well if you don’t want to be an idiot,  tell your doctor about your phobia next time. They can send you to a specialist. And you can’t help being afraid of something. There’s nothing to be sorry for .”

Eskel had a very confused look on his face as he glanced between the two. “How did you to meet?” he asked. “I needed to give a blood sample for my allergy medication. I asked Lambert to catch me when I passed out. He took me to his office and took my blood himself, talking me through it. He was very nice.” Eskel looked surprised. “That is very unlike you brother.” Turning to Jaskier, he then said, “You must be something special.” Jaskier wasn’t sure how to answer that – he was definitely not special at all.


	3. Sick

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jaskier faces the consequences of his earlier decisions.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for all the kind reviews. They made me so happy 😊 I really hope you enjoy this chapter as well.
> 
> Now beta-read by Amy_C she is fantastic :)

Chapter 3 Sick

Jaskier  was startled out of his thoughts when the car stopped outside his house. “You live here?” Lambert  asked him, sounding confused. Jaskier understood the confusion. While Jaskier called it a house, it was really an old o ffice building. “Yeah. There’s a couple of  offices converted into houses in there. I live in the smallest , as it was the only place I could afford. But it ’ s got pretty much everything I need, like a fridge and a toilet .” Eskel stared at him incredulously “Just a toilet? Not a bathroom or a shower?” “No. But there is a sink which  I use to wash up at. It isn’t that bad honestly. I’m happy with it. Thank you for the l ift” Jaskier replied, as he got out of the car.  To be honest, he was a little angry at the doctors for questioning his living situation. While he knew it wasn’t the most ideal situation,  it was still his house, that he paid for with his own money! Who were they to question it? As he turned to walk into the building, he heard Lambert calling after him. “Wait!  Take our cards. If you need anything, like something to stop you vomiting for hours when your food poisoning starts, give us a call . We can give you some medication for free.” Both doctors handed him their cards. Jaskier took them both, but he had no plans to  call either one of them – they had already done enough for him, and he didn’t want them to pity him even further . Opening the door to the building, Jaskier turned and walked to his  home. The door opened without a key as there was no lock. Jaskier didn’t mind – it’s not like he had anything valuable enough to steal anyway. It was small, but it had a bed,  table, fridge, sink and toilet. It was better than being homeless. Just.

……

Jaskier leaned over the toilet bowl for what felt like the millionth time, feeling what little food was in his stomach come  back  up . Though the haze  of gagging and vomiting, he vaguely wondered how much more could be left in his stomach. Once the bout was over, he slumped back down on the floor. He considered  trying to drink a little more water from the bottle next to  him but couldn’t bring himself to do it – it was just going to come straight back up.  This was worse than normal for food poisoning – he had been vomiting for hours now. He was drenched in  sweat and was simultaneously boiling hot and freezing cold. It wasn’t helped by the fact that the heating in the office  was turned off overnight. He shivered and pushed his sweat soaked hair off his face with a shaking hand.  He had never felt so miserable and alone.  Eskel and Lambert’s cards lay next to him.  He must have grabbed them a t some point during the night. He couldn’t really remember anything other than vomiting at this point.  Were the doctors serious in what they had said earlier? Could he really call them?  Jaskier was sure that they had lots of people with actual problems to help, rather than  someone like him who had ma de himself sick by being stupid enough to eat three-day old chicken!  Surely they just gave him the cards to be polite , not so that he could actually call them . They had probably forgotten about him already.  Besides, what could they do?  He couldn’t afford any extra medication – his allergy pills were already expensive enough. Jaskier didn’t believe Eskel for a minute when he said that the medicine would be free . Jaskier felt his stomach start to churn angrily again, and with a moan of pain, he quickly dragged himself up to the toilet, th rowing up yet again.

After slumping on the floor again, Jaskier picked up his phone and dialled the number on one of the cards. He had no idea whether he had called Eskel or Lambert, and at this point, he didn’t really care. He just wanted the pain to stop. “Hello?” Jaskier recognised Lambert’s voice at the other end of the phone. He knew he needed to say something, but he was so exhausted that all his brain could muster up was “It’s Jaskier.” Even just the effort of croaking out his name left him exhausted, and he slumped down to place his head against the cool tiles of the floor. That felt nice. Maybe he could just stay here forever, and everything would be ok. He became aware of a voice coming from the phone, so he moved it closer to his ear. “Jaskier, are you ok? Is it bad?” Jaskier nodded – it was bad. It was really bad. “Jaskier, are you still there?” Lambert was asking urgently. Oh yeah. Lambert couldn’t see him nod. “Yeah. I’m still here” he managed to whisper, hoping that the phone would pick up his voice. “Jaskier what are your symptoms?” Lambert was asking questions that were too complicated for his sick mind to comprehend. Forcing his brain to work, Jaskier mustered up the energy to reply. “Vomiting. Also sweating and feeling weak.” Jaskier vaguely heard Lambert swearing at the other end of the phone. “Anything else?” Lambert asked. Jaskier’s exhausted brain was struggling to follow the conversation. “No” he whispered. The phone was starting to get too heavy to hold up to his head. Maybe he should just hang up and go to sleep. “Jaskier, you sound really sick. Do you need me to come and check you out?” Jaskier knew that he was in trouble – he had never been this sick with food poisoning before. He definitely needed to be checked out and given some medicine. “Please” was all he could manage. “Ok, Eskel and I are leaving for work in 5 minutes, we will stop by your house on the way.” Jaskier only managed to whimper “Please” again, before dropping the phone on the ground. About thirty seconds later, he felt his stomach rebelling again, and with a sob pulled himselfto the toilet once more.

……

Jaskier woke up slumped against the toilet bowl to someone speaking to him. “ Oh, it got you good kid ” It was Lambert speaking to him, his  fatigued mind supplied. “Shit kid, you’re freezing! Come one, let ’ s get you into some  clean clothes , and get you warmed up.” Jaskier felt Lambert gently try to move him away from the toilet . “No” he managed weakly. It was important that he stayed close to the toilet . He couldn’t remember why, exactly, but he knew it was important. “ You’re alright  kid, you can’t have much more left in you r body. Come on, you’re practically frozen stiff, we need to get you warmed up.” Giving in, Jaskier let Lambert essentially carry him to his bed. Maybe then he’d be allowed to sleep. Hearing rustling around him, Jaskier opened his  eyes just in time to see Eskel appear next to Lambert.  “He can ’ t stay here Lam, the heater isn’t working at all, and I  am not comfortable leaving him alone.” As Eskel was speaking, Jaskier felt a cool cloth being placed against his forehead. “There isn’t even a shower ” Eskel continued. “I have a few empty beds at the moment, so I am happy to admit him.” Those words got through to Jaskier ’s foggy mind and he quickly sat up “NO!” was all he managed before slumping back down on the bed again. “No please, I can’t afford it” he begged them . He started to try and get out of bed. He had to make them understand. 

Eskel gently pushed him back down in the bed. “It’s ok Jaskier, we won’t charge you. But you’re really sick right now, and you need help. You’re dangerously dehydrated.” “What about taking him home to Geralt?” Lambert spoke up thoughtfully. “It would be good for him to do some doctoring again.” Eskel thought for a moment. “Are you sure Lam? Jaskier is a bit fragile, and Geralt isn’t exactly known for being gentle…” “I don’t think we have another option Esk.” Lambert said. “It’s not like he can say here. Food poisoning can be deadly if not treated correctly.” “Alright, but you can explain it to Geralt.” Eskel then knelt down so that he was level with Jaskier. “Jaskier, we are going to take you to our home. But first, we are going to pop you into some clean clothes alright?” Jaskier nodded. He didn’t really care where they took him, as long as it wasn’t the hospital. 

Eskel went to find some clean Clothes for him, while Lambert helped Jaskier get out of all his clothes, leaving him in just his underwear. “Where do you keep your medication?” Lambert asked, as Eskel came back carrying an armful of clothes. “Table” Was all Jaskier managed to reply. “What’s his condition?” Eskel asked, while helping Jaskier into a comfortable pair of tracksuit pants. “Asthma, Allergies and I’m guessing a shortage of vitamins” Lambert explained. “You said your medication was on the table?” he asked. Jaskier was only able to nod weakly. Eskel went over to the table and came back carrying the medication. “There’s only one set of pills here?” Eskel said, obviously confused. “Jaskier, where’s your Epi-pen and your puffer?” Lambert asked, looking around. You must have put them somewhere else; can you remember where?” “Don’t have them. Too expensive.” Jaskier whispered. Upon hearing his words, the brothers froze. “Damnit Jaskier! Don’t you realise how important those things are?! You could die without them!” Lambert yelled. “Easy Lambert. The kid is obviously struggling, it’s not like he ate expired chicken for the fun of it. Look around you. Is it so hard to believe that he can’t afford expensive medication?” Eskel said while he picked Jaskier up gently. “It’s ok Jaskier, we are going take care of you. We’ll make it all better.” Jaskier was too exhausted to continue fighting the exhaustion plaguing him and felt his eyes slip shut. 

…..

Jaskier woke up  lying on something soft . He was very confused. Where was he? Wherever he was,  he was lying on something softer than anything  he had ever felt before. It took all of his energy to  not go right back to sleep.  He then remembered. The food poisoning, Lambert and Eskel coming to his house. It was all a little bit blurry, after Eskel had picked him up, but he vaguely remembered  a car trip and then being put down on something soft. He was pretty sure he had vomited again, but he honestly wasn’t sure.  He felt some tugging on his shirt and slowly opened his eyes. He expected to see Lambert or Eskel, but instead  saw a quite frankly enormous man with white hair and yellow eyes . The man suddenly pulled Jaskier’s shirt off . “What are you doing?!” Jaskier tried to shout, but really only managed to croak . Where was he? And why was this stranger trying to take his shirt off? Jaskier tried to sit up and put his shirt back on, but as soon as he was upright, all his energy went into not vomiting again, as the room spun violently.  The strange man pushed him back down . “I’m taking it off because it has vomit on it. Just relax.” The man said. He looked  like he was  angry at Jaskier . Well tough. Jaskier wasn’t going to apologise! He did glance at the shirt  though and noticed that it did indeed have vomit on it. 

“Who are you?” Jaskier asked. “Geralt”  the big man replied. A memory came to Jaskier, of Lambert and Eskel talking about  someone called Geralt, who wasn’t known for being gentle . They had said that he would take care of him. Jaskier relaxed, knowing that this was someone Lambert and Eskel trusted.  And Geralt was a doctor. He was safe.  Geralt saw him relax, and then helped him sit up. He was definitely not being as gentle as his brothers.  Jaskier  could see what Eskel meant about Geralt not being particularly gentle, as the man roughly got him out of his other clothes. He supposed it  was better than being in the hospital. 

“Is this Lambert’s house?” Jaskier asked Geralt, as he looked around the room. It was huge, and most of the items looked expensive.  Geralt ignored him, and instead pushed Jaskier’s underwear down to his feet. “Hey!” Jaskier yelped , as he reflexively tried to cover himself.  Geralt ignored him , taking Jaskier’s socks off as well, leaving Jaskier naked on what appeared to be a large couch. Feeling exposed, Jaskier was about to ask for a blanket , when Geralt picked him up and carried him to a bathroom.  Looking around, Jaskier  saw that the bathroom was practically as big as Jaskier’s entire house. Geralt placed him in a warm bath, and Jaskier immediately relaxed and shut his eyes.  “Dizzy?” Geralt asked. He was apparently a man of very few words. “No, I’m ok, just really tire d.”  Geralt then started cleaning Jaskier’s body. Jaskier was trying very hard not to be embarrassed – Geralt was a doctor, he was used to naked bodies. Besides, it’s not like he could do it himself. At this point, Jaskier doubted he could even pick up the soap,  l et alone wash himself  properly with it. 

“You’re a doctor as well right?” he asked , hoping that starting a conversation would make this somehow less awkward. All he got in return was an affirmative sounding grunt. Well it was something at least. He tried again. “What kind of doctor are you?” “Emergency room.”  “ Well two words was still an improvement!”  Jaskier thought  to himself. Geralt was quite different to Lamber t

…..

Geralt finished cleaning him and dried him off with a towel that Jaskier was certain had to be made out of clouds, given how fluffy it was. He was then carried to a bed and tucked in. Geralt looked at him for a minute, before turning and  grabbing a bucket, which he then placed next to Jaskier.  “ If you need any help , or if you vomit again, just yell” Geralt said to a very confused  Jaskier before he turned and walked out of the room.  “Well I got a full sentence that time!”  Jaskier thought. He wasn’t really sure what to do next . He was naked in a strange bed, in a strange house, with an equally strange doctor.  Jaskier had to admit that Geralt did at least know what he was doing – the bath had felt wonderful.  Jaskier was still exhausted, and fairly nauseous, so he turned to his side and  tried to go back to sleep. Hopefully, he would feel better when he woke up. His last thought before drifting off to sleep, was that the bed was somehow even more soft and comfortable than the couch he was on earlier. 


	4. An Offer

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jaskier wakes up and gets an interesting offer.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Now proofreaded by Amy_C thank you so much!

Chapter 4 A job

Jaskier  woke with a start and instinctively grabbed the bucket sitting next to him.  After a couple of seconds however, it became clear that his stomach was no longer trying to force itself out of Jaskier’s body . Now that he thought about it, Jaskier was able to admit that he felt much better. The nausea was almost gone , although his ribs and stomach muscles were aching after all they’d been put through.  He went to sit up and felt something on his hand.  Looking down, Jaskier noticed that there was now an IV sitting in his hand.  What the hell? When did that happen?  “I must have been really out of it to have missed that happening!”  Jaskier thought to himself.  Briefly, he wondered who had done it? Was it Geralt? Or had Lambert arrived home?

He was so involved in trying to figure out who had put the IV in that he failed to notice Geralt sitting in the chair next to him. As a result, when Geralt spoke, Jaskier nearly jumped out of his skin, and let out a rather undignified shrieking sound. “You were very badly dehydrated. Dangerously so.” Well at least Jaskier now understood why he had an IV stabbed into his hand. It didn’t mean he was any happier about it, however. “So you just went ahead and stabbed me?” Jaskier attempted to make it sound like a joke, but his attempt fell flat, with Geralt’s face growing hard. Geralt hummed, before saying “I didn’t want to wake you. I figured you could use the rest.” “Huh… Maybe he isn’t as harsh and unfeeling as he seems.” Jaskier thought. Out loud he said “Well um, thanks for making sure I didn’t get any more dehydrated. But um, the thing is… I really can’t afford this…” Looking at Geralt, trying to gauge his reaction, Jaskier wondered what would happen now. Would Geralt get angry at him? Perhaps he should have told Geralt about his situation when he first woke up on the couch? This was entirely his own fault. “I will pay you back, it just might take a while” he quickly promised. “Don’t worry about it” was all Geralt said. He really could not get a read on Geralt! One minute the man looked like he was about to yell at Jaskier, and then the next he was telling him not to worry about payment? Jaskier was too exhausted to try and understand the apparent complexities of this man’s emotions. 

“So how much  do I owe you guys?” He asked nervously. He was already struggling to pay  rent; he wasn’t sure how he was going to pay for this . Maybe a payment plan was possible? He told Geralt as such, before  adding: “It’s probably better if you take this out now – to save as much of the medicine as possible .” Geralt just looked at him with what could possibly be considered a confused expression on his face. When Jaskier started to  try and take the IV out of his hand however, the man quickly jumped up and stopped him. “Hey , stop. It’s ok. You don’t have to pay for any of this. Just relax alright?”  Upon hearing this, Jaskier  froze.  Was Geralt being serious?  “ Why are you doing this? Why would you spend so much money on me without expecting me to pay you back?  Neither you nor your brothers know me, so why would you bother? I’m nobody really, just a random idiot who’s terrified of needles . I don’t deserve your kindness…” At Jaskier’s outburst, Geralt just blinked at him, before responding “they like you”, like it was the simplest thing in the world. 

“‘They’ must be Lambert and Eskel” Jaskier realised. But why would they like him? He was nothing special – he was simply a failed musician with a house so bad it couldn’t really even be considered a house, and no family or friends around to help him. “You’re kidding right?” he asked Geralt. “They literally met me less than 24 hours ago, during which, I’ve nearly passed out on one of them, and quite possibly vomited on the other. They don’t like me, they pity me.” It was the only logical explanation Jaskier could think of. Lambert and Eskel didn’t like him; they simply pitied him and felt responsible for him, so they didn’t want him to die. Geralt had only hummed again at Jaskier’s statement, so Jaskier clearly wasn’t going to get any answers out of him. That was fine, Jaskier decided. He wasn’t going to stick around much longer, so he wasn’t taking advantage of their kindness – they had done enough for him already. 

Geralt handed Jaskier a packet of crackers, breaking him out of his thoughts. “Eat” was his only comment. Jaskier took the crackers, opening them slowly. As much as he didn’t want to eat, he knew it was important to, in order to try and replace some of the nutrients he had lost in last night’s vomit fest. He only managed to eat two of them before his stomach started to protest. He gave the packet back to Geralt, who wasn’t looking pleased. With a frown, Geralt took the crackers then passed him a glass of water. Jaskier managed a couple of sips of water (which also had some sugar in it; he noticed), before handing it back to Geralt as well. Taking the glass and the crackers, Geralt hummed again, before gently guiding Jaskier to lie down again. “Try to go back to sleep for a bit. You’ll feel better when you wake up.” Jaskier let Geralt push him down in the bed and move the blankets so that he was warm and cosy. “Thank you.” He managed to say, before falling into a deep sleep.

……

Jaskier awoke to someone calling his name and gently shaking his shoulder. He tried to ignore it – he was comfortable and warm, and so, so tired . He pulled the blanket over his head, hoping it would encourage the intruder to leave him alone.

Unfortunately, Jaskier was out of luck. The intruder was gently pulling back to blanket so that Jaskier’s face was exposed and tapping his cheek softly. “Come on Jaskier, it’s time to wake up now.” Jaskier could tell that he wasn’t going to get any more sleep until he spoke to the intruder, so he slowly opened his eye. It took him a second to focus, and when he did, he saw that the ‘intruder’ was, in fact, not an intruder after all, but Eskel, who was sitting on the bed next to him. Upon seeing his eyes focus on him, Eskel gave a warm smile. “Hi there. You seem to have slept well. How are you feeling?”Jaskier thought for a moment, taking stock of his body. “Better” he responded. “The only thing hurting is my stomach muscles and my ribs, so much better than before.” “I’m glad to hear it. Geralt told us you were the perfect patient.” Eskel replied. “The ribs and stomach muscles are to be expected – you put them through a hell of a lot in the last 24 hours, so you’ll be a bit sore for a few days unfortunately.” “He took really good care of me. And I figured that would probably be the case with my muscles and ribs” Eskel nodded “Do you mind if I take a quick look at your stomach?” “Yeah, that’s fine” Jaskier responded. Eskel specialised in stomach issues, so it was probably a good idea for him to take a look at Jaskier. 

The blanket was pushed down to Jaskier’s thighs, and he blushed upon the realisation that he was still very much naked. Thankfully, Eskel didn’t seem too bothered by this. “Of course he’s not bothered by it, he’s a doctor!” Jaskier’s brain supplied. “He’s trained in how to deal with nudity, you idiot.” Eskel, blissfully unaware of his patient’s internal monologue, gently pushed on different areas of Jaskier’s abdomen, watching Jaskier’s face, carefully monitoring for any signs of pain or discomfort. “Anything hurting?” Jaskier shook his head in response. “Good. It looks like the worst is over. You’ll still need to take it easy for a day or two though. Please don’t eat any more out-dated food – the price you pay is too high.” Jaskier looked sadly at Eskel, as the blanket was moved back to cover him. He liked Eskel too much to like to him. “I can’t promise that. I don’t always have a choice, as my only option is to eat out of date food or starve.” He couldn’t look Eskel in the eye. He knew he’d see nothing but pity. “Starving feels worse” he whispered, filled with shame. The one time he had decided against eating food that was out of date, he had ended up not eating for almost a week. It had been the worst experience of his life, and he had later sworn to himself that it would never happen again. 

“I know” Eskel replied. “That’s why we want to offer you a job .” Jaskier’s head shot up as  he stared at Eskel in disbelief. “You want to what?” There was no way he had heard the other  man correctly – why would they offer him a job?  “We, that is, my brothers and I, would like to offer you a job , at least until your music career turns out the way  you want it to be. We need someone to help keep the house running. Someone to order groceries and clean and stuff. Nothing big, just  laundry and vacuuming, things like that. You could live here,  in your own room, with a private bathroom. We would provide food and toiletries, and we would of course pay you well.”  Jaskier was struggling to wrap his head around everything. “Why would you offer me a job? If this is out of pity, thank you, but no thank you. I will not be anyone else’s burden.” 

Eskel looked at him, seemingly uncomfortable before turning away and saying in a quiet voice “Geralt. He likes you. He has never had anyone outside from Lambert and I that he can tolerate. He is always working from home, and he gets lonely. He has had a rough time recently, and we worry about him. We hope that having you here might help him. It’s not pity. If anything, it’s desperation. You would be helping us just as much, if not more, than we are helping you.” Jaskier took a few moments to think through everything Eskel had said. It certainly seemed like he was being truthful in saying that this wasn’t being offered out of pity. Besides, how could he turn down an offer that included free food, a comfortable room, and an income on top of all that? “Well, I’m not really in a position to say no, am I?” he attempted to joke. Eskel turned to him with a serious expression on his face. “Jaskier, if you don’t want this, you are more than welcome to say no. You don’t owe us anything. You can quit whenever you want. It is one hundred percent, your choice.” 

Jaskier could see the sincerity in Eskel’s eyes as he spoke. “Thank you Eskel. I of course accept. My onlycondition is to get weekends off. I know it must seem extremely ungrateful to you after everything you have offered, but I plan to find a bar to play in, and I need to be able to work on my career as well. I understand if you think that it is too much to ask, but that’s my dealbreaker.” Jaskier held his breath as he saw Eskel take his words in. “Of course you can have weekends off Jaskier – this isn’t a fulltime job. We understand that your career is also important to you, so of course we want you to be able to work on it.” He couldn’t believe the kind words coming out of Eskel’s mouth. “When do I start?” he asked with a smile.

“Well, ideally I’d like you to have a couple of days rest, before you start, so how does Monday sound? That gives you three days, and, if you’re still not feeling up to it, we can push it back a bit further. You can of course stay here while you’re getting better. Also, Lambert will help get your things from your house, and he can deal with your landlord if you like. You can come with him, or you can stay here, it’s up to you.” “Is it alright if I stay here while Lambert gets my things?” Jaskier asked after a moment’s thought. “I don’t know if I’m up for moving furniture and things, and I definitely don’t want to have to deal with my landlord – He gives me a bad feeling…” he trailed off. Eskel was nodding “Of course, that’s fine. I understand.” 

The gentle smile that was on the doctor’s scarred face changed and turned serious. “Jaskier, there is one more thing that I need to talk to you about. Both Lambert and I find this to be the most important thing.” Jaskier was suddenly filled with anxiety. Had he said or done something wrong? “I opened your medical file to order an Epi-Pen for you, and I noticed that you haven’t refilled most of your medication” Eskel continued. “You have asthma, yet you haven’t visited a lung specialist in over four years. We have ordered all of your medication, an Epi-Pen, an inhaler, and some vitamins for you, and we expect you to use them. We are not going to force you to go to a specialist if you don’t want to, but we do expect you to come and talk to us if something is wrong. We don’t want you to endanger your health in any way.” Feeling ashamed, Jaskier nodded. These were reasonable expectations, especially from doctors. “Does Geralt know?” Jaskier found himself asking. As soon as he said it, his brain caught up to his mouth and informed him of just how much of an idiot he really was. Why had he asked that? Once again oblivious of Jaskier’s internal monologue, Eskel shook his head. “No, he doesn’t. I was already uncomfortable accessing your file without your express consent, I wasn’t about to add another person reading it on top of that. You are welcome to talk to him yourself about it. Now, let’s go over your medication.

….

An hour later, Jaskier knew every single one of his medications , along with the side effects of each one.  Eskel had even made a schedule  explaining when Jaskier was supposed to take  each of them.  He had been made to practice with the inhaler and the Epi-Pen as well. Jaskier had to admit, he did feel a lot better knowing that he had to tools to help prevent or stop an asthma attack , as well as knowing that he now had a chance to survive a bad allergic reaction.  Eskel also informed him that Lambert had been right: he did indeed have a shortage of several  vitamins and was also low on iron. He now had several vitamin pills to take every morning and evening . He would also need to start eating a healthier diet. He was told that  he could help himself to anything in the kitchen. If he wanted something that they didn’t already have, he could order it along with the rest of the groceries.  Money wasn’t going to be a problem.

To Jaskier, this  was all starting to sound like a bit of a dream.  He was used to buying only the cheapest things he could find - if it  were something he actually liked, that was just an added bonus.  The fact that he could just  eat the food that he actually wanted and liked whenever he was hungry was not a situation  that  he had ever found himself in before.  He couldn’t believe how lucky he was. Jaskier vow ed to work harder than he ever had before to help these men.  Maybe in the process, he would be able to help Geralt as well…


	5. The first day of your work

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jaskier starts his new job

Chapter 5 The first day of your work

Jaskier stayed for four more days in the guestroom under the supervision of Geralt. Geralt would be his ‘boss’ as well. That meant Geralt would tell him what to do and what not. What was logical because Geralt was always home. He was expected to make lunch, do the laundry, vacuumed the rooms and order groceries.

Today he moved to his own room with a bathroom and It was so big! There was a king size bed with soft pillows and blankets, a desk, with a computer. He never owned a computer before, a sofa close to a tv and a very big closet full of clothes. 

Lambert said that Jaskier needed nice clothes for when he auditioned. But there were new pajamas, sweaters, a bathrobe, underwear, socks and even a jacket. Everything he possibly needed. Lambert ordered him a complete new garderobe. He only reconized four of five of his own shirts. His instruments were here as well. Lambert put them in the corner. His guitar and lute were his most important possession. He brought them both from his own money and learned how to play from YouTube. 

The bathroom was also amazing. It had a double sink, a shower and a bath. There were toiletries from a very expensive non-allergic, biological brand. Jaskier touched the soft towels. It was like living a dream. 

He really could get used to this. It was Saturday that gave him two days before his work started. 

He took those days to walk around the house. It was more like a castle or a fort as Lambert said. They called it Kear Morhen. It was in the family for decades. The brothers grow up here and still lived here even now there father had moved to Australia. 

There was a swimming pool, library, a stable with two horses, Geralt his hobby Lambert told him. And so many bedrooms. Most of them were never used. He learned that the brothers grew up in this house. 

The brothers were rich, very rich. Technically they all three owned the hospital their father opened sixty years ago. Lambert stepped up as director, Eskel became head of his department and Geralt was one’s the head of the ER but now did administration from home. Something had happened. Something nobody was willing to tell Jaskier. Jaskier didn’t dare to press to hard at the matter. The brothers deserve to keep some secrets from him. 

Jaskier also found out the brothers didn’t have much of a social life. They didn’t have girlfriends or much friends. Sometimes Lambert would go do something with a man called Aiden, but that was it. They had each other. Jaskier found it a bit sad, but It wasn’t like he had the right to speak. He didn’t even have brothers. He was completely alone in the world. Well he was, now he had three bosses who he could turn to.

……

On his first day of working Geralt showed him the laundry and cleaning room and explained everything quick and efficient. It wasn't difficult and Jaskier had a lot of time to finish a few tasks. The brothers wanted him to take it easy for a few more days. 

Jaskier started to do the laundry. It wasn’t much and he was finished quickly. So he decided to vacuumed the house. That was a big task that took two hours, when Jaskier was finished he was sweating and tired. He decided to take a break until lunchtime. He lay on his bed. The dust from vacuuming under the bed made he had to focus on his breathing. 

After his break it was around lunchtime he decided to go to the kitchen. He was supposed to cook and make him and Geralt lunch. The last couple of days Lambert cooked so Jaskier needed to find out where everything was. It couldn’t be to difficult. 

Eventually he found eggs, bread and cheese. He tried to cook the eggs. It worked out surprisingly well. He put the two plates on the table and made a glass of milk for himself and coffee for Geralt. 

He didn’t have to wait long before Geralt came in the kitchen and sat down next to him. Jaskier his eyes immediately started to water. Geralt must have come from the stables. He smelled like horses and a few horse hairs stick to his clothing. That was bad. Jaskier was really allergic to horses. He tried to move away a bit. Geralt looked strangely at him so he stopped. He could do this. He could eat dinner without an attack. 

‘Thanks for the lunch’ Geralt said while he started to eat. Jaskier tried to take a bite himself. It didn’t taste good. His throat was hurting. Breathing was getting difficult and some red spots started to appear on his skin. He needed to get away from Geralt fast. But he couldn't. Geralt was the only brother that didn’t threaten him as he was fragile. Eskel kept checking his medicine and Lambert told him already at least twenty times to take it easy. 

He forced himself to take another bite. A horse hair flows in the air. He tried to take a deep breath. Geralt glared at him. He couldn't let himself have a allergic reaction because that could tricker his asthma. 

‘Not hungry?’ Geralt asked suprised. Jaskier shook his head focusing on his breathing. ‘I think I forgot something’ he said. He almost ran out the room. 

When he reached his bedroom he fell on his bed. His breaths came quickly. Running hadn’t been a good idea. He knew he should get his puffer but it was in the bathroom. He didn’t think standing up was a smart idea. 

‘Jaskier, you're okay?’ Geralt was knocking at his door. Jaskier tried to answer but the words wouldn’t come out. 

He heard the door open and Geralt was at his side in seconds. He quickly examined him.

‘Where is your puffer?’ Geralt pushed him on his back. Opening his mouth and looking in. He probably tried to see if his throat was still open. But it also brought the horse hairs and smell too close to his body. 

Jaskier didn’t answer. Geralt took out his phone. 

‘Where is Jaskier puffer?’ he yelled on the phone. 

Geralt left the bed talking on the phone. He was back quickly. He pushed Jaskier in a sitting position and made him open his mouth so he could put the puffer in. 

Geralt took his time guiding Jaskier through the process. Jaskier found that he could breathe easier. Then Geralt slammed a needle in his leg. Probably something for the allergic reaction. Eskel hadn’t told him there were needles and emergency medicine in his bathroom. 

‘Leave’ he said to Geralt as soon as he could talk again. Because he still smelled like horses. It could trigger a new attack.

‘No’ Geralt shook his head. 

‘Horse….smell….allergic’ he whispered. Geralt immediately stepped back. He took his phone out. ‘I will shower quickly, talk to Eskel’. Jaskier took the phone while Geralt left the room.

‘Jaskier you there? Eskel was using his soft voice. The same he used when Jaskier was vomiting three days ago. Eskel really thought Jaskier could break every moment apparently. 

‘Yeah’. Jaskier said, wiping the tears from his eyes. 

‘Good, how do you feel? It was a bad attack.’ Eskel was so nice to him, Jaskier couldn’t stop his tears. ‘Oh sweetheart don’t cry. Everything will be fine. You got your medicine in time. Sssh’. 

Jaskier tried to wipe his tears from his face. ‘I’m sorry Eskel, I’m just so tired. I can’t stop the tears’ he whispered. 

‘Yeah an asthma attack will take a lot of energy. It’s okay to cry. It was scary. Geralt will take care of you’ Eskel is so sweet.

‘I didn’t finish my work’ they were so kind to him and we couldn’t even finish his first day of work. 

‘We don’t care about that Jaskier. Your health is so much more important. You remember the rule. Telling us if you needed something regarding your health. You need rest now’ Jaskier lay down and put the phone on speaker. He didn’t have the energy to hold if.

‘Geralt knows’ he said. Geralt now knew about his asthma and allergies. 

‘It is probably better this way. That way he can help you. You should tell him about all your allergies too’ Eskel suggested. 

‘No, uhm, you tell him. Let him just read my file’ Jaskier said. He didn’t want to explain everything again. 

‘You sure? You don’t have to’ Eskel was given him a way out. But he was very sure.

‘Yeah I’m sure, I’m really sorry I got sick on my first day’. He felt so bad about that. The brothers had done so much for him.

‘Don’t worry about it’ Eskel sighed. 

He continued to talk to Eskel until Geralt freshly showered returned. 

‘Geralt is here’ he told Eskel. 

‘Okay, I’m going to hang up. Tell him I will explain tonight’. Jaskier knew that Geralt heard what Eskel said because he was on the speaker.

‘Eskel will let you read my file tonight’. He told Geralt and hoped that was enough information for now.

‘Hmmmm, you should sleep’ was Geralt's only response, he sat down next to the bed. 

‘Will you watch me?’ he asked, not sure how he felt about that.

‘Hmmm’ so apparently Geralt was going to watch him if Jaskier understood this kind of hmmm right. 

……..

Jaskier woke up, he still felt tired and his ribs hurt. He was alone in his room. Somebody closed the curtains. He looked at the clock. It was almost midnight. He slept for a long time. His stomach reminded him that he hadn’t eaten something for hours. He slowly got out of his bed and moved to the door of his bedroom.

He found Lambert in the kitchen working on his laptop. ‘He kid, how do you feel?’ He asked. Jaskier gave him a small smile. ‘Good, just hungry. Did Eskel and Geralt go to bed?’ 

‘Eskel did, he had a horrible day at work. Geralt is in his room studying everything there is to know about asthma and allergies. He likes you Jaskier. He hasn't touched a medical book since the incident and now he almost took the complete library to his room’. Lambert looked happy, apparently Geralt picking up a medical book again was a very good thing.

‘Isn’t he angry that I kept it a secret?’ he asked. He could imagine that Geralt hadn’t been too happy about that. 

‘He was angry at us for keeping it from him. But he wasn’t angry at you. He was too worried. Do you want you to make something?’ Jaskier shook his head.

‘I can do it myself’ he said. He walked to the cupboards and started to open them. He took out bread and some tomatoes. Then he opened the fridge and took out ham and cheese. He was planning on making a sandwich. Just when he started to make the sandwich Geralt walked in.

‘Stop, the bread is out of the same cupboard as where the peanut butter is. It is possible the bread contains traces of peanuts’. He took Jaskier his sandwich away. ‘I will make you some soup. It's more healthy’. Jaskier wanted to complain but one look from Geralt made him shut up and sit down next to Lambert. 

‘I will clean the kitchen tomorrow and throw everything out that is dangerous for him’ Geralt said to Lambert. Jaskier felt his cheek flush. ‘You don’t have to throw good food away. I can manage’. 

Geralt gave him an angry look. ‘It’s too dangerous. I won’t take the risk’. 

“I agree with Geralt on this Jaskier. Your safety is too important’. Jaskier sighed this was a battle he wasn’t going to win. Well he could always try again tomorrow. He watched Geralt cook tomato soup. He felt happy is was years ago that someone cooked for him


	6. Nightmares

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jaskier has a difficult time dealing with his past. Lucky Lambert, Geralt and Eskel help all in their own unique way.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all so much for your kind comments. They make me really happy :) And also a very big thanks to Amy_C for offering to beta this story. It means a lot to me that someone will take the time to correct all my mistakes and is willing to offer feedback.

Chapter 6 Nightmares

Jaskier was walking around in the garden, his last attack was two days ago and he felt better. Geralt finely allowed him outside but he had to stay away from the horses. He knew that Geralt was keeping an eye on him or that he had the strangest way of mowing the grass. Everytime Jaskier moved to a place on the grass far away from Geralt and his noisy machine, Geralt needed to mow exactly that part of the grass as well.

It irritated Jaskier. He was working at a new song about the sounds of nature but Geralt kept interrupting those sounds with his machine. Jaskier was trying to find a place where Geralt and his machine couldn’t follow him. 

He saw a small pound after some trees. There wasn’t any grass there. He walked between the trees around the pound and sat on the ground. It was nice and quiet. He only heard the mowing machine in the distance. It didn’t disturb him here anymore. 

He smiled at the mother duck and the little ducks in the pound. She kept looking to see if they were still following her. She looked after them as a good mother would do. Jaskier sighed because his mother never bothered to look after him. She had been too busy, just like his father. They hadn’t understood Jaskier. The way he liked music and adventures instead of football and games. 

Well he had Essi. Essi had been the most wonderful person he had ever met, His fingers automatically started to play his Essi song. He wrote it for her and only her. It was the only song he never played for anyone else. The sounds of the mowing machine stopped. Good, more piece. He listened to the sounds of his Essi song. He normally only played it at her grave. He missed her so bad. 

There was a small tear on his cheek when the song was finished he played it again and again. It was the only way to keep her close. There was a shadow falling over him. He looked up and Geralt was standing close with a rake. “You're sad,” he said, looking unsure moving the rake in his hands. 

Jaskier hurried to wipe the tear away. “It’s nothing” now he was sure Geralt was following him. “You can’t be finished with the grass already” he said his voice sounded off full of emotions. Like always after he played the Essi song. 

“The pound needed some attention as well. I need to rake the leaves” Geralt said, still looking at Jaskier. Jaskier looked around and there weren’t that many leaves. He sighed but didn’t say anything. Geralt meant well. 

“You...want..to…talk” Geralt said so slowly Jaskier needed some time to make a sentence out of the words. Geralt looked really uncomfortable. Wel talking wasn’t one of Geralt's strong points. 

“No, I’m good” he tried to smile. He didn't want to force Geralt in a conversation. “It was just the song. I wrote it for a friend. It makes me remember a lot of good things but also a few horrible things” he said he swallowed and tried to push the horrible memories out of his head. 

“I can get Eskel,” Geralt said, looking ready to run and get Eskel. Jaskier looked up at him. Why did they need Eskel. Was he even back from work. Jaskier looked up at Geralt trying to figure out what he meant. 

“Uhm why?” He asked and he gave Geralt a small smile. Geralt put the rake down on the grass. Looking even more uncomfortable now. He looked like he didn’t know what to do with his hands. 

“He is better to talk with, I’m not good with words. I always say the wrong thing”. Jaskier smiled. He didn’t want to talk, he didn’t need Eskel. Geralt was more than enough for now. 

“I think you are doing a good job of listening to me,” he said and nodded at the grass next to him. Geralt took a moment to think and then sat down next to him. Giving his arm a small squeeze. 

“I have bad memories as well. I don’t talk about those either” Geralt started. Jaskier understood the need to keep things inside. He never talked about Essi as well. “Eskel sometimes makes me talk. It does help. Make it hurt less. He is good”. Jaskier nodded. 

“I never talk about it either. I didn’t even tell anyone after that day. I just left”. Jaskier said looking at the mother duck again. Essi loved animals and she would find some food for them. 

“Eskel can help. You can trust him” Geralt said, probably still wanting to run off and get his brother because he was afraid to mess this up. Jaskier found it kind of sweet. 

“Maybe I will one day. But not today. I also like talking to you.” Jaskier said. He slowly started to play a different melody on his guitar. “We can just sit here and listen to my music,” he said. 

“Hmmmm” Geralt answered but he nodded so he agreed.

They sat there for a while, Jaskier playing his music and Geralt listened. 

…….

That evening Jaskier was laying on the couch. Lambert was working on his laptop with Geralt and they were arguing about some numbers. Lambert wanted to buy new scan machines and Geralt wanted to invest in an extra surgery room. They never agreed on something. Those discussions mostly ended with one of them yelling “fine have it your way” and storming out of the room only to come back after a few minutes to join Eskel and Jaskier on the couch. The first time that happened it scared Jaskier. He thought they really had a big fight, but now he was used to it. He knew they never stayed angry long at each other. 

Currently his head was laying in Eskel's lap. Eskel held a book in his left hand and patted Jaskier his hair with his right. Just like the daily fights from Lambert and Geralt that had become a frequent thing as well. Eskel never bothered to join his brother's discussions about those subjects. He never liked administration and finances. That's why he didn't become the director of the hospital. He likes to read in the evening. 

Eskel was now reading a book about different kinds of stones. Jaskier had asked what was so interesting about stones. Eskel started a boring story about history, dinosaurs and geography. Jaskier had stopped listening after a while. Eskel had only laughed and turned the Tv on for Jaskier. 

He was watching captain America. He liked marvel movies. Sometimes he wished he was as brilliant as Tony Stark so he could build a suit like he had and fly around the world to save people. The movie was almost finished. “Hopefully they will also play Captain America two” he said. He felt that Eskel moved his book to look at him and his hand stopped moving as well . 

“We have that one on DVD, you can watch it tomorrow. It is almost midnight” Eskel said. Jaskier let out a heavy sigh. He didn’t want to go to bed. He thought too many times about Essi today. If he even could sleep he would get nightmares about that horrible day. It was better to stay up. That's why he didn’t play the Essi song too much. It did something with his head. It opened doors he usually tried to keep close. It was better to watch movies all night so the door in his head could close again then to sleep and get horrible nightmares. 

He hated nightmares. He never had them before Essi. After he lost her they come almost every night. Writing the Essi song had helped. The nightmares haunted him less and less. The Essi song became the key to the door where he pushed the memories behind. Today he opened that door. 

“I would like to watch it now,” he said no way he was going to sleep, he sat up and moved to the dvd closet in the corner of the room. He heard Eskel close his book and put it on the table. Jaskier had apparently become more interesting than the stones. He did know he was acting strange. Normally he went to bed early. He never stayed up this late before.

“Jaskier, what's wrong?” Eskel asked. Jaskier knew Eskel wanted to help him but he didn’t want to tell him about Essi or his nightmares. He focused on the dvds in the closet. He couldn’t find the Captain America two dvd so he closed the closet again. Where was it!

“It ain't there,” he said, looking angry at Eskel like it was his fault. Eskel just smiled back kindly. He saw that Lambert and Geralt were watching him as well. Great! Just great! Couldn't they leave him alone? Just tonight at least. 

“Then we can order it tomorrow. It’s no problem Jaskier. You’re overreacting. What is fine. You're just tired” Eskel said calmly. Jaskier shook his head. He wanted to yell or stamp his foot to do something to get rid of this sad feeling inside him. Eskel should stop being nice to him. He should give Jaskier a reason to scream and slam his door hard. 

“It is a problem,” he said through his teeths. He was afraid if he opened his mouth he would yell and Eskel didn’t deserve that. Eskel raised his eyebrows a bit and sighed but the smile was still on his face.

“Why is it a problem?” he asked. “Explain it to me so I can help you fix it”. 

“Because I want to watch it now. You know what, I will just watch something else” he opened the dvd closet again and started looking at the titles. He didn’t even read the titles of the dvds. 

He felt a hand on his shoulder. He looked around and saw Eskel. Eskel turned him around and pushed him against his chest. Holding him. Jaskier felt the anger and sadness slowly leave his body. He almost went limp in Eskel his big, strong arms. Eskel hadn’t expected this and moved to find his balance again. Jaskier heard Geralt or Lambert jump up. Probably to help Eskel catch him but Eskel managed, tightening his grip and telling Jaskier everything was fine. 

“I have you. Let go to bed” he moved his arm under Jaskier's knees and lifted him up. Jaskier let him and moved his head in Eskel's neck. He suddenly wanted nothing more than to lay here in Eskel's arms. 

Eskel put him down on his bed. “Do you want to talk?” he asked while he sat down on the bed next to Jaskier. Jaskier just shook his head, talking wouldn’t help. He could better go to bed and try to sleep for a few hours. 

“I’m just tired. I’m sorry for my behavior. I will go and brush my teeth now” he said. Eskel nodded and gave him a quick hug.

“It’s forgiven. If you need us you know where to find us” he said as he left the room. 

….

At three in the morning Jaskier climbed out of his bed. He had fallen asleep two times and both times he dreamed about Essi. His bed didn’t feel nice anymore. He didn’t want to sleep so he turned his light on and left his bedroom. 

He wandered around for some time and eventually ended by the big swimming pool in the basement. He took his socks off and sat down at the edge. He put his feet in the warm water. 

It made him remember talking to Essi about seeing the coast one day. They would swim in the sea and lay in the sun. He never went there of course. He moved his foot to splash the water a bit. 

“You know normal people swim in the morning” Jaskier looked up to see Lambert standing there. Lambert walked to him.

“Then I guess we aren’t normal,” Jaskier sat. “And we aren’t in the water now. We are not even really swimming”. 

“But you can swim right?’ Lambert said his eyes sparkled. 

Jaskier nodded. “Of course I can….” Before he could finish Lambert pushed him in the water and jumped in himself. Jaskier let out a surprised yell. The warm water surprised him. He turned around and swam to Lambert, he tried to push him under. 

They played for almost an hour before Lambert took his arm and took him to a bubble bath. Still dressed in their pajamas they calm in. Jaskier didn’t know what happened but his head ended on Lambert his shoulder, his eyes closed and the door with horrible memories stayed closed.

When he woke up again he was dressed in dry pajamas in his own bed and the clock told him it was already nine in the morning.


	7. Fight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Geralt tries to help Jaskier but Jaskier isn’t too happy about that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have an amazing beta Amy_C thank you so much. She is making this story so much better 😊

chapter 7 fights 

  
It was two days later when Geralt allowed Jaskier to work again. Jaskier was looking forward to this. He wanted to be useful for the brothers. Jaskier met Geralt in the kitchen.

“Breakfast” Geralt nodded to a sandwich with ham and cheese on the table. “Everything that could be dangerous for you is thrown out. I cleaned the complete kitchen twice yesterday with Eskel. It shouldn’t be dangerous anymore”. Jaskier his eyes wired. Not only was this a really long sentence for Geralt. But he hadn't seen them cleaning the kitchen. He had been with Lambert yesterday.

“Thank you. I could have cleaned the kitchen. It is my job after all” he said feeling a bit guilty. He was here to make the brothers their lives easier not to give them even more work. Cleaning a kitchen on their free day for him didn’t really sit right with Jaskier.

“No, you couldn't, it was dangerous,” Geralt said, ending the conversation. Jaskier sat down at the kitchen table and started eating. Geralt sat down as well. He was watching Jaskier eat.

“Are you not hungry?” Jaskier asked, feeling a bit uncomfortable as Geralt continued to watch him eat. Could he not at least do something on his phone instead of staring at him.

“Hmmm” Geralt looked away for a bit. Before standing up and leaving the room. Jaskier felt a bit relieved. Geralt got the hint, that didn’t happen often. He knew Geralt had his own way of showing that he cared but sometimes he made Jaskier a bit uncomfortable.

He forced Jaskier to stay in bed for two days after his asthma attack. Bringing him salades and fruit during the day. One time he hadn’t been hungry Geralt went to check for a fever and stayed with him for three hours. Eventually Jaskier didn’t know any other way to get him to leave him telling him, he was hungry again and he ate the fruit. Geralt left after that.

If Jaskier got a small coughing fit because his lungs needed time to recover he immediately had a stethoscope pushed against his chest or a puffer in his mouth. Jaskier was glad for the puffer sometines but he wished Geralt would stop with the cold stethoscope.

Geralt cared that he was healthy not comfortable Jaskier learned. He asked Geralt a few times to warm the stethoscope in his hands before using it. Geralt told him he wasn’t a baby. Geralt was a very special person.

Eskel had been very happy with Geralt, his mother henning. He ate dinner in Jaskier his room a few times. He told him Geralt had visited their medical library the evening after Eskel told him about Jaskier his conditions and took every book there was to find about asthma and allergies. Apparently Geralt hadn’t been in that room since ‘the incident’ as Eskel called it. Jaskier still didn’t know what ‘the incident’ was. He didn’t ask questions about it. It was clearly a delicate subject.

Geralt walked back in the room. Jaskier swallowed because he looked angry. What did he do wrong now? It was clearly Geralt’s ‘Jaskier you are an idiot face. “You didn’t take your vitamins'' he said, pushing the pills to Jaskier who sighed deeply. He should have thrown those awful pills away. Of course Geralt would check his medication box.

“Seriously Geralt, you went to my bathroom, in my room to check if I had taken my pills. Ever heard of privacy”. Geralt had been checking his medication box when he was sick. But Jaskier supposed he stopped now Jaskier was better. It angered him that Geralt didn’t trust him to take his medicine. Even when he was right because Jaskier didn’t take everything he was supposed to.

“It’s Necessary apparently” Geralt said angrily nodding to the pills. Jaskier didn’t own Geralt an explanation if he didn’t want to take awful tasting pills Geralt couldn’t force him after all.

Jaskier pushed the pills back to Geralt. “I don’t like them, and you feed me so many fruits and vegetables I think they are hardly necessary anymore”. He couldn’t imagine there was any vitamin the brothers hadn’t been feeding him. He knew he had those pills for a reason but it felt like a good excuse.

“Size effects” Geralt asked a little softer, picking the pills back up. Looking at them, they personally offended him by giving Jaskier side effects. “You should have told us”.

“No I don’t have side effects. They just taste so bad I almost vomit everytime I take them. So I stopped taking them”. He eat the last bit of his sandwich. “If it’s really necessary that I take them, I would like a different kind or taste at least”. He didn’t think that request was very unreasonable.

Geralt looked at the pill and then back to Jaskier. As soon as Jaskier saw Geralt's face he realized he made a mistake. He should have thrown those pills away! “It’s the pills or a monthly shot” Geralt told him. Jaskier put his plate away and took a deep breath. Who did Geralt think he was ordering him around like this?

“Then I choose neither of them. I lived so long without them. I sure I will survive now as well”. When Jaskier turned around he wished he hadn’t. Geralt looked furious. Why was he having this conversation with Geralt? Eskel was so much easier to talk to. He would understand and help him. Geralt was so difficult, so protective.

“You were malnourished when they took you here. Your vitamin levels were dangerously low. Lambert could have committed you for that. Maybe he should have. Your body needs weeks or months to recover from that. You take the damn pills”. Geralt held the pills out to him. “Now!” Jaskier never saw Geralt so angry before.

Jaskier was close to trowing a tantrum. Who did Geralt think he was? What happened to integrity of your own body and stuff like that. But he didn't feel it felt wrong to explode and yell at someone you just know for two weeks and who spent most of that time taking care of you. “I won’t” he just said as calmly as he could. “I don’t like them. You can’t force me”.

“Oke I will ask Lambert to pick up the shot. I will give it to you tonight” Geralt said, looking Jaskier directly in his eyes as if he challenged him to refuse. Jaskier felt his heartbeat go faster. He was angry as well, really angry.

“No” he slapped the pills out of Geralt his hand and ran angry to his bedroom. Noway he was going to take a shot! They couldn’t force him. He felt close to a panic attack. He hated this. He fell on his bed and hid his face in his pillow. Stupid pills! Stupid Geralt! Stupid shots!

He needed to calm down. This was his first day back at work. He couldn’t spent it crying in his room. He was already living in the brothers their house for two week and he only worked for three hours. Soon they would want him to leave if he didn’t start doing his job soon. Especially now he argued with Geralt. He took a few deep breaths.

“I asked Lambert to pick up a strawberry kind of vitamin pills. They are normally for kids so you will need to take four pills to get the right dose” Jaskier moved his head out of his pillow and looked at Geralt who was standing next to him. He looked unsure, almost sad.

“Thank you” Jaskier whispered, he really was thankful. Not only for the new medicine but also that Geralt cared enough to arrange it even though Jaskier had been so mean to him.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean too” Geralt said. Jaskier sat up and gave Geralt a small smile. Geralt apologized? That was new and not necessary. He wasn’t the one that slapped pills out of Jaskier his hand. Jaskier should apologize.

“I’m sorry as well. I shouldn’t have hit the pills out your hand. I'm so sorry I shouldn’t have hit you at all. I also should have talked to you about the pills sooner” he said. He wasn’t a violent person but those stupid pills worked like a red flag.

“It didn’t hurt,” Geralt said and he took a step back. “Sleep”. Sleep? It was not even nine in the morning? Jaskier wasn’t tired. So he just shook his head.

“No, not necessary I’m better. I would like to work. What can I do?” He didn’t want to spend another day in his bed. Geralt took a few seconds before answering. He was clearly thinking about this.

“I can vacuum the bedrooms” he offered so Geralt didn’t have to think of something. And he didn’t mind vacuuming. It was an easy task and it would really help the brothers.

“No dust” Geralt said. Okay Jaskier sighed he was going to be treated as a fragile little kid who couldn’t take care of himself. Now he was even forbidden to vacumated. What was a big part of his job.

“You can order groceries. There is a list next to the computer. After that you rest” Geralt decided, looking pleased with himself. Well Jaskier wasn’t pleased at all. He wasn’t a baby. He liked to work for his money. Of course Geralt would give him a stupid not dusting job.

“I can do more things Geralt, other things. Let me do the laundry, cook dinner, wash your car. I don’t care. Just don’t treat me like I will break if I’m close to dust”. He really hoped Geralt would stop motherhening him soon. He didn’t like it or need it. He was perfectly capable of taking care of himself. He was an adult!

“We needed groceries. Order them” Geralt moved to walk away trying to end the conversation. Jaskier walked after him. He was so not finished with this subject.

“It will only take half an hour at most. What do I do after that? I will rest. You can’t send me to bed, I’m better. Eskel said it himself my lungs sound normal, the rash is gone, He hoped he wasn’t pushing Geralt too hard.

“Oke then you make lunch first. But then you take a nap. You need it” Geralt decided while putting his coat on. He was probably going to see the horses. He would tell them how ridiculous he found Jaskier. Jaskier wished he could tell the horses that, that wasn’t true. He was brave and strong and very good at taking care of himself when he had enough money for that but that wasn't common sadly enough. That's why he needed to do this job right. He wouldn’t give them a reason to fire him and hire someone else.

“A nap? I’m not a child I don’t need a nap. You are being ridiculous . You hired me to do some excully work in this house. Why do you even keep me around. I’m clearly useless to you. I want to work” he yelled at Geralt.

Geralt stopped fastening the buttons of his coat. “You're not useless” he said looking at Jaskier. “You just sick”. Now Jaskier was ready to explode. Sick? He wasn’t sick, he just had some difficulties!

“I’m not sick. I have asthma and allergies And I have those everyday. I had those my whole live. You don’t get to call me sick, make me take my pills or order me to take a nap. I’m not your patient! If you treated all your patients like how you treat me then I understand why you don’t work at the hospital anymore’ he yelled. “You are mean and try to bully me into taking a nap. Well you can’t do that. I don’t have to listen to you. You don’t even dare to leave the house!” Jaskier took a deep breath to yell some more unpleasant things to Geralt.

Geralt opened the door, turned around and walked out. Slamming the door close behind him. Leaving Jaskier alone in the hall.


	8. Running away

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jaskier thinks the brothers will kick him out because of hid fight with Geralt and he decides to leave himself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> warning: this chapter has a small scene non-consensual kissing and touching.

Chapter 8 running away

  
Jaskier realized what he just said. Oh god! Oh god! He really was an idiot. A very mean idiot. How could he say something like that? He hurt Geralt his feelings. He crossed a line. Oh no! They would be so mad. Eskel would finally get angry, Lambert would be furious and Geralt. Oh Geralt! He would never talk to him again.

He should leave. He wouldn't be welcome to stay here anymore. They would kick him out he was sure. He would kick himself out for this. The brothers only helped him, did their best and how did he repay them? By getting sick all the time and insulting Geralt. It was best if he left himself. It would save them the trouble.

He hurried to his room. He should pack his stuff. He looked around. Nothing here was actually his. Everything was brought by the brothers. The clothes, the toiletries, even his new guitar. How could he have done this after everything they did for him. He couldn’t take those things. It would feel like stealing. He didn’t even manage to work a full day for them. He didn’t deserve their kindness.

He looked at his coat and shoes even those were brought by them. His old stuff was somewhere at a thrift store or in boxes in the basement. He couldn’t look for it. He didn’t have the time. He should leave now.

He quickly picked up a paper and wrote a message to the brothers.

Dear Lambert, Eskel and Geralt,

I’m so sorry I insulted Geralt. I didn’t mean to. Please forgive me.  
I understand that I’m not welcome anymore in your home. So I will leave.  
I won’t take any stuff. You already did too much for me. Last two weeks were definitely the best weeks of my life. I felt loved and being cared for.  
Thank you so much for taking me in your home, providing medicine for me and taking care of me when I was sick. You did too much for an idiot like me. I’m sorry I had to disappoint you like this.

I will never forget you,  
Jaskier

He put the note on his bed and left his expansive new cell phone next to it. He looked around one more time before he shook his head and turned around. He almost ran out of the house on his bare feet only wearing his jeans and a long t-shirt meant for sleeping.

He regretted not putting shoes on when his feet touched the cold stone of the driveway in front of the house. The cold wind gave him goosebumps. There was nothing he could do about that now. He ran out of the garden through the fence. Now he officially left the house. He was on his own again.

He started to walk. The brothers their house wasn’t too far from the city. It was necessary for them to live close so they could be at the hospital quickly.

Jaskier was soon on the busy sidewalks leading to the city center. He didn’t know what to do. He didn’t have a home anymore. He didn’t even have shoes! He felt himself panicking. This was so not good!

He never had been truly homeless before. With Essi they always had a place to stay. Where did homeless people live? In shelters right? Where could he find those and how could he earn money. Did shelters cost money? Oh and food! Where was he going to buy food? He already felt hungry just thinking about the fact that he maybe wouldn’t be eating for a while.

He took a deep breath. He needed to survive. People survived being homeless for years. He could do this. It wouldn’t be easy but he would make the best of it. He didn’t have a choice.

People looked strangely at him. Of course they did, it was oktober! And he was walking around without a coat or shoes. They probably thought he was crazy. He needed a place to calm to think without all those strange looks.

A bit further in the street he saw a small park he walked in. It was almost empty and he found a bench in the corner. He sat down, drew his knees against his chest and tried to make a plan.

He couldn't really think of a plan. The first thing people do when they get in trouble was call family. Well that wasn’t an option for him. The next thing they would do he thought was calling friends. He didn’t have a friend to ask for help or money. Essi was dead. She would definitely have helped him. He couldn’t think of a way to earn some money. He hadn’t taken his instruments. If he had he could play music on the streets to earn money. But was that even legal? He didn’t know.

…..

It was getting dark. Time moved strangely when you tried to figure out where to get a bed or food. He must have been sitting here for hours. And he still couldn’t figure out what to do.

A woman walked over and sat down next to him. He turned to look at him.

“You look unhappy,” she said. Did she just talk to him? Jaskier looked surprised at her. He never had any woman taking interest in him. He was always a bit shy and people mostly assumed that Essi and he were together. They hadn’t been. The woman next to him was older than him, maybe around thirty. She was wearing a lot of makeup and her top was a bit too low, he could see a good part of her breasts. He felt his cheeks flush and made himself look away.

“I am a bit unhappy but I will be fine” he said quickly it was rude to ignore the woman. Because what else could you tell a strange woman?

“I can make you feel happy and get you a job, you're pretty enough” She said moving closer to him. Pretty? Nobody ever called him pretty. And what did she mean with that job. Maybe she owned a store or something.

“Umh I don’t know” what on earth did she mean? Why didn’t he understand! He had absolutely know idea. The woman pulled out a card. She gave it to him,

“Here is my card with a free happy pill. Take it. If you like it you can call me for more” she whispered in his ear. Jaskier didn’t take the card, the pill was drugs right? Drugs were bad. He didn’t want drugs, the woman kissed his cheek and pushed the card in the pocket of his jeans. She left her hand on his tight. She squeezed it a few time and she kissed him again, it did something to him. He felt himself getting hard. He didn’t want this. He had to make her stop.

“Uhm I don’t have money. I’m a bit homeless right now. It is better if you find other customers. I can’t afford it” he moved a bit away. She would leave now right? She had to understand that she couldn’t earn money from him. The woman moved closer. Suddenly putting her hand on his groin. Jaskier froze. What! No woman touched him there before. What could he do? Should he even do something?

“I can help you get a job, it would pay well and they give you free happy pills” she said kissing his cheek again. The hand slipped in his jeans, touching him. Jaskier didn’t know what to do. Did he want this? Every man wants this right? She moved her hand over his penis, squeezing it, He came in his pants. She moved to open his jeans. No! He didn’t want this. It didn’t feel good at all.

Jaskier jumped up. “Stop!” He yelled and he pushed her off him. “I don’t want this,” he yelled harder. She looked surprised. He didn’t want sex. At least not like that. This was wrong. He already felt bad that he came like that. He shouldn’t have. Especially not after a day like this. He hurt Geralt and his brothers and the first thing he did was having sex. It was disgusting!

“Oh sweetheart” the woman moved closer to him again. No she couldn’t. He pushed her away.

“Only Eskel can call me sweetheart” he yelled. He turned around and ran away from her. There were tears on his cheeks. He missed Eskel! And Lambert and of course Geralt. Why did he have to ruin everything like this. He could be laying on the couch right now with Eskel his hand in his hair. Or playing cards with Geralt. Everytime Geralt won he smiled. That smile made Jaskier feel funny. He would never see that smile again.

…..

He ran until he found an ally to hide. He didn’t know if she would follow him or not. Probably not. He put his hands on his knees and tried to catch his breath. Luckily he hadn’t triggered an asthma attack. That would be the only thing missing on this horrible evening. He peeked around the corner. The woman indeed hadn’t followed him. Well she probably thought he was crazy. He had overreacted a bit. What kind of man was he? All man liked sex with woman right? Especially with a beautiful woman like she had been.

“Relax man” Jaskier quickly turned around a man dressed in a suit was leaning against the wall. He held out a cigarette for Jaskier. “You act like you are getting chased. The cobs or your parents?” he asked

“Neither. It was a woman” Jaskier told him, taking a deep breath. The man offered the cigarette again and Jaskier was not even sure why. He never smoked before, he felt desperate and lonely and that’s when smoking helps right? When you have a lot of stress. That’s why people get addicted, it helps them calm down. Jaskier could use something to help him calm down.

“It’s always a woman” the man said shaking his head. He took out a lighter and light Jaskier his sigaret. “Women are the best but if they don’t like you anymore they can turn into monsters. My ex. She turned into a monster too. Keeping my kids away from me” Jaskier didn’t really listen he swallowed and he slowly moved the cigarette to his mouth and inhaled. It tasted awful. He inhaled again, deeper this time. Maybe it tasted bad because he did it wrong?

He already had painful lungs from all the running and they didn't like this. Jaskier started coughing. He felt like he couldn’t breathe. Taking a deep and calm breath didn’t help him anymore. He triggered an attack. Stupid cigarette!

“Man are you okay?” the man in the suit asked, hitting Jaskier on his back. “Calm down man. Can I do something?”

Jaskier tried to shake his head, he wasn’t okay and the man couldn’t do a thing. He needed his puffer. He needed Geralt! He was alone. The brothers couldn’t help him. What did he do! The cigarette fell to the ground, forgotten and Jaskier caught himself on the wall. He tried to calm down. The coughing fit did stop. He was seeing stars. He knew what would come next he would pass out.

He really wished the brothers would be here. Eskel would hold him and tell him he was okay, Geralt would push his puffer in his mouth and Lambert would lecture him after while he squeezed his shoulder. But they weren’t. They wouldn’t even care about him anymore. Not after what he did.

“Help, help him” the man was screaming to someone outside the ally. Jaskier sonk to his knees. The man was there again, saying something to him. Jaskier couldn’t hear him. He was going to pass out. He could die. He didn’t want to die. I’m a idiot he last thought was before everything turned black.


	9. Coming home again.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jaskier finds out that the brothers aren’t mad at him.

chapter 9 coming home again 

  
He woke up. His head and lungs hurt so bad. He was shaking. Why was he so cold? Did he kick his blankets away? The ally! The fight! The woman! Suddenly he remembered everything. He opened his eyes slowly. He was still outside in the alley. It was dark and there were voices around him. He tried to focus. There was someone kneeling in front of him. He blinked a few times. He hoped to see one of the brothers. It wasn’t one of them. It was a cop! Why was there a cop?

“You are okay. You just passed out for a few minutes, nothing too bad. You are lucky you had someone with you. Do you need an ambulance?” the cop said. Jaskier looked around slowly. Oh his head didn’t agree with that. There were two other cops standing near them, looking at them. The man in the suit who gave him the cigarette was gone.

“No ambulance” his voice sounded weird his breathing was still a bit fast.

“What is your name?” the cop asked, making Jaskier focus on him again. His name? Oh of course the cop wanted to know how he was. Cops always asked for your name. He suddenly realized his passport was still laying on his desk in the brothers' house.

“Jaskier” the cop nodded kindly and Jaskier saw another cop write it down. Did he do something wrong?. “Am I under arrest?” he asked. He never got arrested before. When Essi died they brought him to the hospital and interviewed him there. He never had to go to the police station.

“No your not. But we are a bit worried about you Jaskier. Where are your shoes?” His shoes? What did his shoes have to do with anything, Jaskier looked at his feet. Oh, yeah he didn’t take the expensive sneakers. His feet were currently wrapped in his jacket. Oh they apparently took pity on him or at least on his feet. He had to admit the jacket was nice around his cold feed.

“I forgot,” he said. He wasn’t going to tell the cop what really happened. He was too embarrassed about it. The cop gave him a small smile and went to stand up.

“That’s okay. We are going to take you to the station. Then we can contact your family or get you some other help”. Jaskier shook his head no he didn’t want to go to the police station. There wasn’t anybody they could call for him.

“That is not necessary sir. I’m fine now”. The cop kneels again and patted his knee softly like Lambert would do. Jaskier tried to push the thought about Lambert away. It wouldn’t help to keep thinking about them.

“You don’t look fine. Were you safe at home. Did you run away?” the cop asked. Jaskier thinks about the brothers. Was he save? He was more than safe. He had been loved and cared for, if he was honest he never felt saver in his complete life. He probably never would.

“I lived with three doctors of course I was safe”. He almost laughed at the thought. Geralt was even keeping him to safe. That was what led to the fight.

“Lived? Why did you leave?” The cop asked. “Did they hurt you? Kick you out?”

Jaskier shook his head. “I left. They didn’t do anything wrong”.

“Wait did you say three doctors? The witcher brothers reported a missing person, wait, let me looked” one of the standing cops started. Jaskier looked surprised. That couldn’t be true? They reported him missing? Were they that angry? He didn’t understand. Did they want him to pay back some of the things they brought him? Well that probably was reasonable.

“You look scared, Jaskier. Are you scared of them?” The cop tried to catch his eyes. He probably thought Jaskier ran away from the brothers because they were mean to him. If they only knew the truth. It was Jaskier who had been mean.

“I’m not scared. Just surprised” Jaskier said. “I had expected them to forget about me”. He thought that the brothers would be angry at him but also to forget about him soon. It was not like he was important or something.

“Well kid. They are really worried it seems. They reported you missing just two hours ago. Jaskier, you, run off their house after an argument. They spend hours looking for you. They told us you had medical problems and needed medicine” the cop said. Looking at Jaskier.

“They reported my missing? Why? I don’t understand?” Why would they do that?

“Yeah. Lambert Rivia can in, he demented that we would make it a high priority case. Even offered to pay for any costs”. Jaskier's mouth fell open. They were still willing to spend money on him? Weren’t they mad?

“I’m calling it in,” the cop said. They walked to the police car.

“Where was the argument about?” the cop in front of him asked. Jaskier sighed and thoughed about Geralt his hurt face.

“I said some things I shouldn’t have said. I got angry at myself and ran away” the cop nodded. “I thought that they would be mad. Why are they looking for me?”

“Well, they probably care about you. Sometimes you say horrible things to the people you love. Normally you talk about it later and then you can apologize. Running away doesn’t fix anything” the cop explained. So he needed to apologize. He guessed Geralt deserved that after everything that happened.

“But I don’t have a phone,I left it at home. How can I apologize?”. Apologizing suddenly seemed like the most important thing in his life. Even if the brothers still wanted him to go, he had to tell them he was sorry.

“Don’t worry about it. The cops at the station will inform them and then they will come and pick you up. Right now we bring you to the station too, make sure you oke. Let’s go”. He was helped to his feet. And the cop kept a steady hand on his back while he walked him to the police car.

…..

At the police station he was put in some kind of office. Were a social worker and a doctor visited him. It was apparently some kind of rule to make sure he was okay.

The social worker asked a lot of questions about his parents, the brothers and why he ran away. But Jaskier didn’t really answer her questions. She kept pressing and offering things like counseling. He didn’t like her. He asked her to leave a few times, but she didn’t until she asked every question on her list. Jaskier kept his mouth shut. Finally she left.

Immediately after her a doctor came in. He was clearly tired and wanted to hurry. Jaskier told him he didn’t want medical help. Other than the social worker the doctor seemed glad and left immediately.

The cop from the alley came in after that. To take his statement. It was a long conversation. The cop wanted to know a lot of details. Jaskier skipped the part of the woman in his story. That's none of their business he thought,

When the cop was finely finished. He told him that Lambert was at the station.  
He asked if Jaskier wanted to see him. Of course he did. How else he could apologize?

The cop went to talk with the doctor and social worker. Jaskier sighed why did everything took so long. He brought his knees to his chest and played with the blanket he was covered with when the door opened.

Lambert walked in and immediately sighed. His face looked relieved. “Oh kid”. Lambert walked to Jaskier and sat down on the chair in front of him. “They said you were hurt?” he asked, moving the blanket a bit away to see more of Jaskier his body.

“I’m okay, they make a big deal out of everything here. It was just an attack. I’m not really hurt. Maybe a bit. I don’t know. I didn’t want the doctor to check he isn’t one of you. Not that I expected you to help me. I understand I have to leave. I was so mean to Geralt….” Lambert interrupted him holding up his hand.

“First you don’t have to leave. We didn’t want you too. I am going to take you home. We aren’t mad at you. Of course it wasn’t a nice thing to say. But everyone sometimes says things they regret. That's why the word sorry exists. You can apologize to Geralt. You can talk and everything will be fine” Lambert explained. Jaskier looked away he felt stupid. It couldn’t be that simple right. Nothing in his life was ever so simple.

“Why did you report me missing” he asked while playing with his blanket.

“Oh kid! You left without a coat or shoes probably panicking. What else could we do? We looked for you everywhere. You didn’t take your medicine or puffer. We were afraid you would get an attack. Just like what happened. When Geralt found your note. It scared him. You know he even left the house to look for you. You know he never leaves”. Jaskier felt a tear on his cheek. Lambert was so nice to him. Lambert pulled him in a hug and patted his back.

“Really?” He hiccupped. He couldn’t believe Geralt found him important enough to leave the house for.

“Really! You should have seen him, he spoke to everyone on the street to ask if they had seen you. You know how he hates speaking to strangers. He wanted to go and pick you up himself but I didn’t think that was a good idea. I didn’t know what kind of state you would be in and Geralt tends to be a bit overprotective” Lambert explained. Jaskier smiled because Geralt must really like him. He could imagine the fight Lambert and Geralt had over who could go and pick him up. Eskel was probably keeping Geralt calm at home.

“Geralt and Eskel are at home. They really want to see you. I got text messages from them every minute or so. When I texted them they had a doctor examine you and you refused treatment. Geralt even called! He was ready to send an ambulance to us. Nobody is mad I swear”. Jaskier giggled a little. He knew Geralt hated calling people. He only did it for emergencies. He could imagine him yelling on the phone at Lambert. Frustrated that he couldn’t put the cold stethoscope against his chest himself. He already knew that when he would see Geralt that would be the first thing he would do. Well after he listened to Jaskier his apologize, Jaskier would make sure of that.

“Are you ready to go home?” Lambert asked, giving him a kiss on his forehead. “I don’t think Eskel can keep Geralt at home any longer. I am afraid he will saddle Roach and ride her here”. Jaskier smiled at the thought of Geralt riding his horse to the police station just to see him.

“Yes I 'm more than ready to go home” Jaskier whispered without looking up. “I’m sorry Lambert. I just think I’m a big idiot all the time. I make stupid decisions. Ending up in trouble, needing you to save me”. Lambert picked him up in his big arms. Giving him a smile.

“You not an idiot, you just have a lot to learn and didn’t have anyone to help you before. You have us now and you won’t get rid of us this easy. We happen to like you Jaskier. You are allowed to make many mistakes and we will forgive you and help clean up any mess you make. As long as you are being honest to us. Really Jaskier you are important to us”. Lambert tucked the blanket tighter around him and carried him out of the office.

“I’m taking him home, where he belongs,” Lambert told the cops before leaving the police station. Jaskier put his head on Lambert's shoulder. He found a home, where he belongs.


	10. Hugs and talks

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jaskier finds out nobody is mad at him and talks about love and sex with Eskel.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: talk about non-consensual touching in this chapter.

Chapter 10 Hugs and talks

He was half asleep under Lambert his jacket when they arrived home. He didn’t even remember Lambert putting the blanket around him. Geralt immediately opened the car door and gave him a long look. Observing him. 

“You hurt” he said, it wasn’t a question, it was more a statement. He moved to unbuckle Jaskier his seatbelt. Jaskier swallowed he should say something to Geralt. He should apologize. He took a deep breath. 

“Geralt I’m so sorry for everything I said. I didn’t mean it. You have been so good for me. Please forgive me” he begged. Geralt gave him a long and quiet look before picking him up pulling him close against his chest. Jaskier made a surprised sound when he was suddenly in Geralt's big arms. 

“I can walk Geralt,” he tried. Geralt didn’t listen, he just carried him into the house. Where Eskel was waiting for them in the main hall and he looked just as worried as Geralt and Lambert had. He gave Jaskier a small smile and squeezed his arm. 

“Let's get you to your room” Eskel said he tried to tuck Jaskier his feet under the jacket. Jaskier pulled his food back out of his hand and let out a painful moan. That hurt! Why did his feet hurt?

“Oh I’m so sorry” Eskel said and immediately went to look at his feet. “I thought you had seen a doctor. Those cuts aren’t even cleaned” he said unhappy. 

“I refused treatment,” Jaskier explained to him. Eskel looked even more unhappy now and Geralt started walking to Jaskier his bedroom. Jaskier knew they were both in their doctor state of mind now. That would mean a lot of pulling and poking at his body. For ones he didn’t mind. He was just glad to be home. 

“Why would you do that? Refusing treatment?” Eskel asked. Jaskier didn’t want to explain he was so tired. He just hid his face in Geralt his neck. Geralt felt so warm and safe. 

He was gently put down on his bed. So Geralt could be gentle if he wanted too, Jaskier thought. That made him smile. Eskel and Geralt were both hovering over him. Geralt removed Lambert his jacket and Jaskier made a small unhappy sound. The jacket had been so warm and it smelled like Lambert now he was cold!

Eskel turned his attention to his feet moving them and touching the cuts. Jaskier hissed that hurt. “One cut needs stitches. The rest we can just clean and bandage” Jaskier wasn’t sure if Eskel was talking to him or Geralt. When did he even cut open his feet so badly? He couldn’t remember. Probably when he was running away from the woman. Just thinking about her made him feel sick. 

Geralt looked at his feet as well. “Hmmmm” he just said. Before picking up the stethoscope that was permanently laying on Jaskier his nightstand and lifting his shirt. 

Jaskier sighed deeply he knew the drill by now. Geralt listened longer than normal even moving him a little so he could put the stethoscope on his back. “Could be worse” he said when he put the stethoscope away. Okay well that was positive Jaskier guessed. 

“Are you hurt anywhere else?” Eskel asked, still sitting by his feet. Jaskier tried to feel his body but everything felt so numb. He wasn’t sure. 

“I didn’t even know I hurt my feet so I don’t know” he said honestly. He was tired from the emotional roller coaster he lived through today. He just wanted to sleep. 

“Can we check?” Eskel asked while he rubbed Jaskier his ankle, that was nice. Jaskier nodded. He could trust them. He let Geralt unbutton his jeans and push them down his legs. Geralt moved his legs, touching them at different places. Nothing hurt. 

He moved Jaskier his shirt, that had been long enough to cover his underwear and tights. Exposing them. Suddenly Jaskier remembered the woman again. What she made him do. He was in his underwear, maybe they could see it! They would think he run away to have sex! 

He bolted upright. They couldn’t know. They couldn’t see. Geralt was at his side immediately. Holding him while he sat. “Calm down, did it hurt?” Geralt asked.

“You were examining his right tight right” Eskel said moving there to look at it as well. His tight that was too close to his dirty underwear. Jaskier pulled his legs away. To cover it so Eskel couldn’t see. He had to move away. But Geralt didn’t let him go.

“Easy Jaskier. Easy'' Eskel was on his other side now. Holding him like Geralt. “Just lay down. Nothing is going to happen. Does it hurt so bad?” he asked, patting Jaskier his hair. “It’s okay. We will help you. Make it all better”. They were so nice to him. He didn’t deserve it. 

Jaskier shook his head. “No, it is not hurting me. Please everything is okay. You can leave”. He needed them to leave so he could change and shower. But they made him lay down. Eskel kept petting his hair.

“Sssh Jaskier. You probably pulled a muscle. Those can hurt very bad if you touch them. It’s okay kid” Eskel said. It almost made Jaskier cry. Eskel was so kind to him. 

Geralt was moving to his tight again. Jaskier directly put his right leg on his left leg. Geralt tried to move his left leg away. To spread his legs and probably to get a better look at his right tight without touching it. Eskel was still trying to calm him. Jaskier moved his leg back and turned on his side. Pushing his legs to his chest. 

“We should take him to the hospital. If it hurts that bad. Maybe he did more than pull a muscle” Eskel said he moved to pat Jaskier on his back. “Let's give him painkillers at least'' he said.

“It isn’t his tight '' Geralt said Jaskier looked up panicked. He saw! He knew! Geralt looked distressed. So he was mad. Jaskier knew he would be. 

“You saw?” He whispered needing to know. Geralt nodded looking a bit sick now. Of course he was disgusted with him. Letting a random hooker touch him while they were worried sick about him. He couldn’t stop the tears. 

“Saw what Geralt?” Eskel asked. Geralt didn’t answer. Looking frozen. “Saw what?” Eskel pressed. 

“Something sexual has happened” Geralt said his voice sounded off. He must be furious! Jaskier felt that Eskel froze and the hand stopped moving over his back. They were so angry. They would kick him out again. Jaskier's cries turned hysterical. He couldn’t stop it. He didn’t want them to hate him because of this.

“I’m so sorry. I’m really sorry. I tried to stop it, I ran away after. I didn’t want it, I'm sorry. I didn’t stop it either. I froze. It surprised me…” he was rambling. He needed them to forgive him. He needed their forgiveness so bad. 

Eskel moved him so he was laying in his arms rocking him. “It’s okay. It’s okay. Nobody is mad. You did what you could. Calm down sweetheart. Just calm down”. He couldn’t calm down. His lungs hurt. Eskel kept talking to him, he didn’t hear him. Until he felt a little pinch in his hip. They gave him something. His limbs felt heavy and his eyes dropped for the second time that day. 

…..

When he opened his eyes he had to blink a few times he didn’t feel completely awake yet. Slowly he sat up in his bed. What happened? Why did he feel like this?

“You were triggering another asthma attack we couldn’t let that happen” he looked at Eskel who was still sitting next to him. How long had he been out? He was wearing a pyjama. They changed his clothes apparently. 

“What happened?” He asked because it was so fuzzy in his head.

“After we sedated you we stitched your foot, cleaned the other cuts and dressed them. We checked you for other injuries finding non luckily and cleaned you up a bit. After that we dressed you in your pajamas and let you sleep. It's been five hours since” Eskel explained to him. Five hours?

Jaskier turned to look at the clock. It was five in the morning. “Did you stay with me all this time?” He asked. Why would Eskel do that? 

“Yeah, I didn’t want you to wake up alone. Geralt was here too but he got so restless. He went to the horse’s”. 

Jaskier put his head down on Eskel his shoulder. “I remember that you know,” he said, scared of Eskel his reaction. Would he be mad? “She was a hooker I think,” he added. 

“I know we found her card in your pocket” Eskel said. Jaskier swallowed of course they did. What would they think of him? 

“She offered me drugs. I promised I didn’t take it’ he said. He hoped Eskel believed him but he would understand if he didn’t. 

Eskel moved his head a bit. ‘Okay, what did you do?’ Jaskier played with his pyjama time to be completely honest. He hoped Eskel wouldn’t be too mad. He was glad it was just Eskel, Geralt and Lambert would have reacted with a lot more anger. 

‘I took her card with the try-out pil. But I didn’t take it. It went so fast’ he said. He felt that Eskel nodded.

‘The woman offered sexual services I saw, ' Eskel said slowly knowing they were getting to a delicate subject. Jaskier took a deep breath. 

‘Yeah, I think she does’ he whispered. Well he knew for sure she did, but it still felt strange to admit that. 

‘Did you use her services’ Eskel asked calmly.

‘Uhm, I didn’t hire her. She just uhm’ He didn’t look at Eskel.

‘I don’t have to know the details. But did you call her or something? Or did you go look for someone like her’ Jaskier was surprised how calm Eskel was. But he assumed it all wrong. 

‘No! I was in a park. She saw that I was unhappy. She tried to make me happy. We didn’t have sex. She just umh put her hand in my trousers you know. She gave the happypil. She tried to make me feel good in every way. She offered a job. To get more pills’. Jaskier felt Eskel tense. 

‘Well what did you say?’ Eskel asked, pulling Jaskier a bit closer to him. 

“I didn’t really say anything. I didn’t enjoy what she did. I should have enjoyed it right. She was good I think” he didn’t want to ask Eskel this but the question kept him busy. 

“Well you probably didn’t enjoy it because you didn’t want it. Sex is great when you are in love or feel attracted to someone. Not when someone just put their hand in your pants. She was wrong to do so. I'm glad you ran away. When someone touches you and you don’t want it. You screamed, fight and run away. You did nothing wrong”. Jaskier felt relieved. Eskel wasn’t mad? He thought Jaskier did the right thing! Jaskier felt the stress leave his body.

‘I thought you would be mad. I had sex while you were so worried” he whispered he needed to sure he hadn’t misunderstood Eskel his reaction. 

“You didn’t have sex, someone touched you without your promisesion that is something different. Even if you had sex. We aren’t here to judge you”. Jaskier let the words sink in. He didn’t have sex? Of course he hadn’t wanted the woman to touch him but he didn’t exactly say no. But Eskel still didn’t think he had done anything wrong. Maybe Eskel was right. Well Eskel was right most of the time. There was just one other thing he needed to tell Eskel. 

“I never before…you know….. I’m not sure I even like girls. Sometimes I think about uhm boys” he said, he closed his eyes. He wasn’t sure how Eskel would react to this.


	11. Girls, boys or both

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jaskier and Eskel talk about love and you will finally learn Jaskier and Geralt their backstories.

Chapter 11 Girls, boys or both

Eskel shook his head, giving Jaskier a kiss on his hair. “Well you don’t have to like girls. You don’t even have to know anything about that for sure now. Take your time to find it out. Wait until you fell in love. Don’t do things you don’t want to. Maybe you like girls, maybe you like boys, you can also like both of them”. Jaskier swallowed and moved to look at Eskel. Was Eskel serious? Did he really not mind it if Jaskier would be gay?

“So you wouldn’t mind” he asked to check again. Eskel couldn’t be that amazing could he? Eskel started to laugh.

“Of course not Lambert is gay, I’m straight and Geralt swings both ways. It doesn’t matter to us. Come on Jaskier. You know Lambert dates Aiden”. Jaskier didn't know that. He thought they were just close friends. He never considered Lambert being gay. Or wait! Eskel said that Geralt liked both girls and boys. That was interesting. 

“When did Lambert found out he was gay” Jaskier asked. Maybe he could learn from Lambert his story. Lambert already figured this out. 

“Well that was in his late teens. When he started to take guys home we knew enough. By the way do you have condoms or something. You need to use them for both girls and boys. Alway! even if you just use your mouth” Jaskier moved away from Eskel looking at him. What did he just say? Eskel looked serious. Like it was a normal question. 

Jaskier felt himself flush. “I know,” he said. Not wanting to talk about this subject any longer. 

“Good, but do you have them?” Eskel repeated his question. “It is important. You can experiment in your own tempo with however you like. But keep it safe”. 

“No” there was almost nothing more embarrassing than buying them Jaskier though. He never needed them before so he didn’t even think about buying condoms. 

“I will get you some. Put one in your wallet. Just to be sure”. Jaskier nodded quickly so the conversation was over. 

It was silent for a while after that. Jaskier just let Eskel hold him. 

“You should get children Eskel,” Jaskier said suddenly. He felt so calm and happy with Eskel. He would be a brilliant father. 

“What?” Eskel asked, moving to look at Jaskier his face. Jaskier smiled and he would gladly explain this to Eskel. 

“You would be a great parent. I wish my parents were like you. Always ready to listen, overing me advice. Taking care of me. I can talk with you about everything and anything. I couldn’t with my parents. They were mean. They didn’t care about me.” His voice sounded off. He felt sad. He never really talked about his parents. 

Eskel was slowly patting his hair again. Tucking the blanket closer around him. 

“Did you run away to be away from them?” Eskel asked. Jaskier shook his head. Suddenly ready to tell Eskel everything. 

“Yeah, I ran away with Essi when I was fifteen. Essi and her parents were the same. We made streetmusic to earn money. I lived in an old apartment with Essi and her niece Pricilla. I moved after Essi….” He stopped. Was he really going to talk about Essi? Could he tell Eskel about her. He really wanted to share the story with him, he could trust him. 

“After Essi…” Eskel asked gently, trying to get him to continue.

“She did it for me. They shot her” he said hoping it would make sense. He only told the police what happened but nobody else. He couldn’t. It hurt so much. He felt so guilty. 

“That must be terrible. What did she do for you?” Eskel asked, rocking him a bit. Jaskier took a deep breath and closed his eyes. He could do this. 

“She tried to steal a puffer in the pharmacy. She had a gun. I didn’t know she had one. I didn’t even realize until I heard the shots. I was having an attack. I couldn’t help her” he was shaking now. Squeezing the blanket hard. 

“Oh kid. Oh sweetheart” Eskel pulled him close holding him protective against his chest. Jaskier wanted to continue. 

“I saw her die. I couldn’t do a thing she lay on the ground on the other side of the street she looked at me. I saw her eyes, she died”. He saw her empty eyes again, the pool of blood where she was lying. People were screaming. He remembered his vision getting blurry, he didn’t remember much after that. 

“Do you think she would blame me for not helping her?” Jaskier asked. Essi had done so much for him. Even died for him and why don’t help her in her last minutes. He hadn’t hold her hand or told her it was go. He should have.

“No, she wouldn’t have blamed you. She loved you. She knew you didn’t want her to hurt. She was trying to help you because she knew how sick you can get from asthma” Eskel said. Jaskier really wanted to believe him but he still felt like he should have done more. 

“After the funeral I left Letterhove and moved here. I was lucky someone told me I could rent a room at the office. I earned some money playing music on the streets” he told Eskel. Thinking back to the days that he spent on street corners with his guitar made him feel sad. It had been so cold sometimes and so many people ignored him. 

“Wait Lambert said you just lived in that office for six weeks. You have been living here for three weeks. You want to tell me you just lost Essi ten or eleven weeks ago?” Eskel turned him so he could look him in his eyes. Eskel looked shocked and sad.

“She died on June twenty one. How many weeks is that?” He wasn’t good with math but it was a bit more than three months he thought. “I wrote her a song to remember her,” he told Eskel.

“You did, I know. But you must still be grieving. You lost her so recently and after that so much happened to your life sweetheart. It’s only logical you still get nightmares and be so emotional. It must be so hard for you” Eskel shook his head and pulled him closer. 

“It’s fine Eskel, really. You don’t have to worry about me” Jaskier said. He was dealing with Essi her dead. He made sure the world would remember him. Eskel didn’t have to help with that.

“Oh sweetheart you are very brave you know that. You try so hard to do things right. I’m very proud of that. But I’m worried. You lived to a lot of traumatic events in a short time. That takes a lot of energy. It is so much to progress. Is there anything we or I can help you with” Eskel asked. Eskel was so nice to him. How did he deserve Eskel?

“I don’t know. Just don’t send me away. I feel so safe with you. I like to cuddle with you. I like how Lambert makes sure I have nothing to worry about, setting up a bank account and things. When Geralt hugs me I feel like nothing in the world can ever hurt me again. Please just don’t take that. That’s enough for me” he whispered. He would give anything to feel so happy and save as he did with the brothers.

“Oh Jaskier. Don’t worry about that. You are our little brother now. You can’t get rid of us. The moment we realized you ran away. Oh sweetheart we wouldn’t have stopped looking until we found you. Of course if you want to you're free to go. But we will never kick you out”. Eskel rocked him and Jaskier let him. 

There was a knock on the door. Jaskier didn’t move not even when the door opened.

“Eskel, the hospital called there is an emergency in your department. I told them to fix it themselves, but we hired a lot of incapable people it seems” Lambert said. “I have to go as well. Is he okay? Should I send Geralt?” Lambert asked. 

“I would like to talk to you and Geralt for a second first, but I don’t want Jaskier to be alone tonight. This brave little sweetheart deserved some hugs” Eskel told Lambert. The door closed.

“Jaskier, can I tell Lambert and Geralt what you told me. I think it’s important”. Jaskier just nodded. If Eskel thought it was important it probably was. Eskel laid him down in his bed and tucked him in. “I will be back as soon as I can. Geralt is going to stay with you”. Eskel kissed his forehead and left. Jaskier rolled on his side and closed his eyes.

…..

Jaskier opened his eyes. Geralt was working on the computer at his desk. His belly did something funny like every time he saw Geralt, he didn’t have it with Eskel or Lambert. But he found Geralt beautiful. That had probably something to do with finding out what and who he found attractive. Did he find Geralt attractive? He wasn’t sure yet.

“I’m awake” he said and Geralt turned around. The way his long white hair moved was beautiful Jaskier thought. Maybe he did find Geralt attractive. He needed to look into that.

“How do you feel?” Geralt asked, moving closer and touching Jaskier his cheek to check for a fever. 

“Better, good even” he went to sit up rubbing the sleep out of his eyes. 

“I want to tell you something,” Geralt said he looked uncomfortable. Geralt wanted to tell him something? That was new. Geralt avoided talking if he could.

“Tell me what,” Jaskier asked.

“I lost someone too. Eskel told me about Essi. You feel guilty, I feel guilty too” Geralt said looking at the ground. Jaskier sat up straighter. Was he talking about the incident?

“What happened?” Who did Geralt lose? And why did he feel guilty? 

“When I worked at the ER a girl came in. Renfri. She overdosed. I helped her get better. To get clean. We loved each other. She got her drugs from a bar. I hate that place” Geralt tried to explain. Jaskier nodded trying to get Geralt to continue. He wanted to know more now.

“Where is Renfri now?” He never saw Geralt with a girl or heard her name. Did they break up?

‘My girlfriend, she died. In the ER. I couldn't save her’. Jaskier swallowed he knew how that felt. He understood the guilt. To see someone you love die, that you couldn’t do a thing to stop it. 

“She had a bad day, visited the bar again, took something and drove her car. She… I tried to save her. I haven't gone to the hospital anymore since that day” Geralt looked away. It hurt him to tell Jaskier this. Jaskier understood now why Geralt never went to the hospital again. He couldn’t even live in the same city after he lost Essi. He left as soon as possible.

Jaskier looked away. ‘I’m sorry. I don’t know what to say’. He hated it when people said that to him but saying nothing seemed worse. There wasn’t anything they could say to him what would make him feel better. So he probably couldn’t say a thing to make Geralt feel better. 

‘It’s tree years ago, but I still think about it everytime I’m close to the hospital or that stupid bar,’ Geralt said. Geralt was shaking a bit. Jaskier never saw him so emotional before.

He stepped out of his bed because he wanted to hug Geralt. He hissed when his feed touched the ground. Geralt immediately jumped up catching him. The emotion on his face was gone. 

“You shouldn’t stand for a few days. Not until the stitches come out” he said pushing Jaskier on the bed again. “Let me check”. Geralt took his sock off to pick at his feet. The moment was over. 

“I get you something to eat,” Geralt said, moving to the door.

“Geralt, thank you” Jaskier said Geralt just nodded. Jaskier hoped Geralt knew that Jaskier was thanking him for so much more than just getting him food.


	12. Yennefer is bad news

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yennefer comes to visit Geralt and Jaskier doesn’t like her. Well he actually really hates her.

Chapter 12 Yennefer is bad news

It was three weeks later and Jaskier finely worked two week straight without any incidents. That was definitely a new record for him. He even was a bit proud of it. Geralt gave him even difficult tasks, like cleaning and organizing his office.  
His balance in his bank account was getting higher and higher and soon enough he would be able to buy a new guitar and produce a music-demo. He was already writing songs for that. But he hadn’t written the right one yet. 

Currently he was playing cards with Geralt. He tried to spend as much time as possible with Geralt so he could find out if he found him attractive or not. But since today he was sure he found the answer to that question. 

The answer was yes! He found him very attractive and he was falling in love slowly. He never had been falling in love before. It was a fantastic feeling. Not that he could ever tell Geralt that.  
First of all Geralt clearly saw him as a little brother nothing else. Secondly Geralt had been in love with Renfri, a girl and even if it was true that he liked boys and girls like Eskel said, then it was clear that he preferred girls. Thirty Geralt was almost ten years older than he was. He was probably a kid in his eyes. And lastly he wasn’t smart, beautiful or funny enough. Geralt would never see him as a potential partner for him. So Jaskier didn’t say a thing, and loved him in silence.

He googled it and a lot of people had secret crushes where they never told anybody about. When they for example loved someone who was married, or their boss or a famous actor. Google told him there was nothing wrong with it. Eventually you would find someone else or fall out of love. So he would wait for one of those to happen. 

He didn’t even tell Eskel. And he told Eskel almost everything. And Eskel tried to talk with him about love, sex and dating. Apparently he thought Jaskier needed help with that. Big brother advice Eskel called it a lot. Jaskier had been stupid enough to tell him that there was someone he liked. Eskel wanted to know who it was. Of course Jaskier couldn't tell him. Eskel was guessing a lot now. He didn’t think Eskel would be mad or make jokes about it. 

No he would probably tell Jaskier that there were different kinds of love. Thinking Jaskier didn’t understand his feelings. The kind you fell for friends and family like him and Geralt and the kind you feel for prarners. He would probably force him to talk to Geralt. But he knew the difference between loving a friend and falling in love and he was definitely falling in love with Geralt. 

“You lose again,” Geralt said, gathering all the cards. Of course he lost, he was too busy in his head with other things. Like how it would feel to kiss Geralt. Or how it would feel to kiss at all. Would he be a bad kisser? He didn’t practice, maybe he should?

But Geralt seemed busy with other things too. He kept looking at the clock and played with his hair. He looked a bit nervous. Maybe he wanted to talk with Jaskier too. Could there be a small chance that Geralt felt the same way? Jaskier tried to think of a question, a way to find out. 

The bell went. Geralt stood up quickly. “Yennefer” he said as he straightened his clothes. Jaskier looked up. Yennefer? He never heard that name before. Who was Yennefer to Geralt? His eyes changed. He looked more happy. Why did Yennefer make Geralt look happy? Or more importantly why didn’t Jaskier make Geralt look like that!

“I’m expecting her. Jaskier go to your room” Geralt said without even looking at him. Go to his room? Geralt never sent him to his room. None of the brothers ever did. There were enough places in the house to have private conversations without sending people to their rooms. Why would Geralt start now.

“Why? I live here too. I’m not some child” Geralt growled at him. Looking angry as he walked to the front door Jaskier followed him. Geralt never growled at him before. He growled at Lambert sometimes when Lambert argued with him. What was happening here? Why was Yennefer so special he had to go to his room. If she was here for business they could go to the office like they normally would do. 

Geralt opened the door and a beautiful lady with dark hair and almost purple eyes walked in. Jaskier saw the look in Geralt's eyes. Okay he definitely didn’t stand a chance. Geralt was already in love. Very in love with this woman. Jaskier swallowed and looked angry at Yennefer. Why was she so beautiful? She was probably smart and funny too. Of course Geralt would like her. Jaskier was nothing compared to her.

“Picking up strays again. I thought you stopped after that weird dog” she said shaking her head while she looked at Jaskier. He dare she! Jaskier wasn’t some stray. And the dog that she was talking about was Scorpion. Geralt had loved that dog. Nobody was allowed to joke about the dog. But he didn’t say anything about that to Yennefer. He just accepted her comment. 

“Yennefer. Jaskier lives here. He will go to his room now. Right Jaskier” Geralt said looking pointly at him . Well he didn’t have to listen did he. And he definitely wanted to learn more about the woman that stole Geralt his heart. Maybe it was better to go to his room and save himself the pain, but he stayed. He needed to know more. 

“Your new puppy doesn’t listen very well. Let me try. Leave us!” she said with as much dominance in her voice as she could. Her hand was on Geralt's arm now touching him. Jaskier would almost listen but he met enough bullies in his life to keep his back straight. He would not go to his room. Not because they demanded it from him. 

“No I will not leave and go to my room. Geralt, she isn’t being nice to me. She is insulting me in my own house. Do something” Geralt would defend him right? He wouldn’t let her insult him in his own home. Geralt sighed heavily. His eyes already told Jaskier that Geralt wasn’t going to defend him. He looked enchanted by Yennefer. Maybe she really was a witch. 

“Yennefer. Jaskier is very fragile right now. He is grieving and recovering. It’s best to ignore him. He can’t handle you. Jaskier just go to your room now. I have a guest” Geralt said. Ignoring him? Jaskier couldn’t handle Yennefer? And he was fragile? What did Geralt say? He was so angry at Geralt and Yennefer. Jaskier was ready to explode. He walked to the front door.

“I’m going to take a walk” he is trying to sound sure of himself. Geralt signed again. Walking over to him. He was clearly annoyed by Jaskier his behavior. 

“Jaskier don’t cause a scene and run away angry just go to your room for a few hours. Please. We have a guest don’t act so childish” Geralt was clearly very irritated by him. Well bad for him! Yennefer looked far too pleased. She likes it that Geralt found her more important than him. 

“No, I'm going to take a walk. I’m an adult, do you remember that? I'm not some prisoner you can send to his cell when you feel like it. So you two can go fuck and the fragil stray puppy won’t be in your way”. He said. It hurt to say those things.

“Geralt, what is he saying?” Yennefer put her hand on her chest. She played that she was offered by his statement. But Jaskier knew better. 

“Jaskier will just leave for now” Geralt looked between Yennefer and Jaskier. Jaskier gave Yennefer his most dirty look before walking out the door. 

“Thank you puppy for understanding,” Yennefer said laughing, Jaskier closed the door behind him. He felt humiliated. Of course the door opened again. Geralt walked over with his jacket. Looking very angry. Well Jaskier was angry as well. 

“You are being ridiculous Jaskier. You have your phone at least” he asked. Jaskier nodded and put his jacket on. Geralt handed him his small back with emergency medicine as well. “Be home before dark,” Geralt said. Welk had was not something Geralt could decide for him.

“Maybe. If I feel like it. Just go back to her. She must be missing you” he said walking away. He didn’t know what hurt more. Knowing that the first person you fell in love with was about to have sex with somebody else or the way Geralt treaten him. Like he was nothing more than a stray puppy like Yennefer said. It hurt him more than it probably should. 

At Least it was clear that he didn’t stand a chance with Geralt. 

He had know idea where he was walking too. He absolutely wasn’t going to go home as long as Yennefer was there. He hated her. 

Eventually he sat down on a bench in a small park close to the house. It was cold. He regretted not taking a scarf. He sighed, not knowing what to do now. He could call someone but he only had three phone numbers in his phone. Geralt was not an option and Lambert and Eskel were both working. 

Eventually he started to play the stupid games on his phone that Lambert downloaded for him. Trying to empty his head and not focus on the cold wind. 

…. 

When Jaskier came home it was late and already dark. He did that on purpose. To show Geralt that he wasn’t going to listen to him. He was really cold. It started raining on his way back. Eskel had tried to call him but Jaskier ignored it. Eskel would want to pick him up but he was close to home already. It wasn’t necessary for Eskel to come and get him. 

He took off his wet coat and shoes before going to the living room. Lambert was watching a movie about zombies and Eskel was reading his book about stones. Geralt was nowhere to be seen.

“Is that witch still here?” He asked, his voice was cold. Eskel closed his book turning his attention to Jaskier. He gave him a kind smile like always. 

“No, Yennefer and Geralt went to her house. She had some files to show him. Geralt said you didn’t like her. That you caused a bit of a scene” Eskel asked slowly. He Didn’t like her? That was putting it lightly. But he didn’t cause a scene. She did!

“She was very mean to me. Geralt tried to send me to my room like I’m some child. They called me a stray puppy Eskel. And that I was fragile.Geralt even said I was ridiculous and childish” he complained. Hopefully Eskel would say that, that was very mean and very untrue. 

“You shouldn’t take Yennefer so seriously. She is nicer than she acts. She is very important to Geralt. She always tries to get people a bit angry. You shouldn’t let her get to her. Why didn’t you not just go to your room like Geralt asked” Eskel said. Was Eskel choosing their side! 

“Because, because. He loves her. They were going to have sex” Jaskier said with anger. He didn’t want to say that. Why did he say that! It was so stupid! Lambert turned around. He laughed.

“Someone is jealous,” Lambert said, shaking his head. Jealous? He wasn’t jealous! How could Lambert say something like that! How dare he. 

“I'm going to my room now. That is what everyone wants right” he yelled and even jumped in the air before turning around and walking out. He was furious at Yennefer, Geralt and even Lambert now!

“Jaskier” Eskel tried but he walked away. 

….

He was crying on his bed. He felt bad for yelling at Lambert and Eskel. He didn’t want to know that Geralt didn’t love him. He hated Yennefer and her stupid comments.

The door of his room opened. Someone climbed on the bed with him. He was pulled to a muzzled chest. A hand petted his hair. This could only be Eskel.

“You liked Geralt,” Eskel said. Jaskier just hadn’t expected Eskel to ask this now, he closed his eyes and took a deep breath, time to tell the truth.


	13. A fake boyfriend?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A strange man shows up at the front door claiming to be Lambert his boyfriend.

Chapter 13 A fake boyfriend?

“Please don’t tell him. He loves her” Eskel shook his head. 

“He does love her. But they will never be together. They have been trying that since highschool. It never works. It’s just sex. Nothing more, nothing less”. Nothing more, nothing less? Just sex? How could Eskel say that? “Give it some time. Maybe one day Geralt and you can date”. Jaskier almost laughed like that was going to happen now.

“I fell out of love with him today,” he said trying to sound sure.

“Okay, well if you ever fall in love again with him or someone else and want to talk you just come to me” Eskel said pulling the blanket over them. He would do that. 

“I wanna sleep in your arms,” Jaskier said. He wanted to feel warm and safe. He wanted someone to make him feel loved. He would feel like that when he slept with Eskel in his bed. He asked for it a lot. Sometimes Eskel would say yes to him. Not very often because it wasn’t something Jaskier should get used to Eskel said. 

“Alright. Go shower and take your medicine. But I warn you. I have to get up early tomorrow. Don’t complain about the alarm”. 

……..

“Eskel? '' light fell on Jaskier his face. He slowly opened his eyes, he still felt tired and saw Geralt standing in the door opening. Geralt looked shocked.

“Why are you in Eskel his bed?” he hissed and the anger was all over his face. Jaskier slowly sat up. Was Geralt still angry about yesterday? Well even if he wasn’t. Jaskier himself was still very angry about the Yennefer situation.

“Shouldn’t you be in Yennefer her bed?” He said. Geralt shook his head, clearly furious by Jaskier his question. Good, he deserved to feel that, his behavior hurt Jaskier too.

“You slept with Eskel?” Geralt clearfield. He looked like someone just told him Yennefer didn’t love him anymore. One second Jaskier wanted to say yes. Hopefully it hurt Geralt as much as it hurt him yesterday. But Eskel wouldn’t play along and that would only lead to long and painful conversations. Probably with both Eskel, Geralt and Lambert.

“No of course not. Well we did sleep together in this bed. Eskel hugged me and petted my hair and…” Geralt went a little pale, good for him. “And we slept. Oh my god Geralt! Eskel is like my dad. Well a nice dad then. When I’m hurt or sad he lets me sleep in his bed. Nothing like you and Yennefer did, happened here” he said. Geralt looked so relieved by that, that he sighed deeply.

“You were sad, why?” Jaskier raised his eyebrows. Why? Why was he sad? Was Geralt seriously asking that?

“Are you perhaps sort of a marble? You and the insane and very sexy woman were very mean to me yesterday. Remember? Well let me help you! Jaskier go to your room! Jaskier, don't act so childish! Jaskier you're acting ridiculous! Jaskier is fragile, ignore him! Jaskier is just a stray dog! Jaskier doesn’t listen! Should I go on?” He yelled at Geralt. He jumped out of his Eskel now. He was too angry to stay still. 

“Jaskier” Geralt started calmly. He wasn’t going to lecture him again was he?

“No you don’t get to Jaskier me! It was not my fault” Geralt shook his head and held his hand up to stop him.

“I’m sorry. Your right” what!.... Was Geralt sorry? Really was he even capable of being sorry? He thought that Jaskier was right? This couldn’t be true could it? Geralt never said sorry like this before. 

“Where are you sorry for?” he whispered, still a little confused by the unexpected apology. 

“What I sat was out of line”. Okay well that was true. Jaskier slowly nodded. Geralt really meant it. He should forgive him. Yeah, Geralt said stupid things, but he apologized and now Jaskier would forgive him. Yennefer would never show up again and everything would go back to normal.

“You are forgiven” he said. It wasn’t often he was the one who would forgive the other. Mostly he had to apologize for being or doing something stupid, Geralt didn’t look to happy yet. Was he waiting for a hug? Of course Jaskier could do that. Just when he wanted to walk over to Geralt and hug him, Geralt spoke up again.

“And where are you sorry for?” He asked calmly, urging him to answer. Where was he sorry for? Well he wasn’t? They just established that Geralt was the one who should and did apologize right? 

“I didn’t call you those things” he said confused. “Where should I be sorry for?” He really didn’t follow Geralt.

“Well you weren’t really reasonable yesterday. You were rude to my guest” Geralt explained. Oh this was about that witch again. Well he wasn’t going to apologize for that.

“It is her fault,” he said. Geralt looked angry again. Well…. well too bad! Jaskier didn’t like this situation either!

“Don’t call her that” oh this was about the witch comment. Really that was Geralt his problem?

“I won’t apologize and I’m ending this conversation now” he said hopefully it sounded as wise and adultlike as he wanted it to sound.

“Fine” Geralt turned around and walked out of the room. Good! Jaskier thought. Well this was good? Wasn’t it? No it wasn’t good at all, Jaskier realized. But it wasn’t his fault!

….

Geralt avoided him the rest of the day. He didn’t give Jaskier any tasks, he didn’t show up for coffee at ten and had taken his laptop to work in the stables with Roach.  
Jaskier wasn’t feeling that well. He was cold and his throat hurt a bit. Not that he would ever tell Geralt that. Especially not today. Geralt probably wouldn’t care right now,

Jaskier was waiting with lunch, he made caesar salad. Geralt was late. He probably wasn’t coming. Well his loss Jaskier was just earling his salate when the bell rang. If it was Yennefer again…

He walked to the door and opened it. A big man was standing there. Jaskier didn’t see him before. “Can I help you?” He asked. De brothers never got unexpected visitors. Because you had to know the code of the fence to reach the front door. Nobody told him they were expecting someone. If someone showed up without knowing the code they had to call at the fence. Jaskier would answer the intercom, but he had to ask the brothers before letting anybody in.

It wasn’t that they didn’t trust Jaskier they said, because Jaskier had gotten that feeling. It was because they wanted to protect him. They were rich, doctors who sometimes couldn’t save a life and people with mean and violent intentions could show up at their home. They didn’t want Jaskier to get hurt by them. 

“You must be Jaskier right, I’m Aiden. Lambert, his boyfriend” Jaskier shook Aiden his hand. Was this Aiden? He imagined Aiden so much different. With lesser muzzles, shorter, cuter perhaps. Well Lambert didn’t really tell him how Aiden look. Jaskier just made a picture in his head, and it looked nothing like this Aiden

“Lambert is not here” he said unsure. Did something happen to Lambert? 

“No, not that I know off, He works until two I believe. But I’m not here for him. My apartment is getting renovated so Lambert said I could stay with him for a few days. I'm just going to sleep because I have a night shift tonight. Can I come in?” 

Jaskier's eye fell on the blue suitcase next to Aiden. It was small, too small for a few days. Why didn’t Lambert say anything about this? Lambert never mentioned that his relationship with Lambert was this serious already. It suddenly felt very wrong. Wrong like the day that Essi got killed. Was someone going to die today again? 

Aiden gave him a weird feeling. This was nothing for Lambert. Was this Aiden even real? It could be a fake one. He had seen that on tv. This fake Aiden could have stalked Aiden, was this a fake Aiden? As soon as Jaskier let him in, Aiden would pull out a gun and steal everything. Maybe he would even kill Geralt. Oh god! What should he do? He needed to protect Geralt. It could be an angry patient who was here to get revenge. 

Was the real Aiden even alive? Oh god, what if this Aiden killed the real Aiden. Lambert would be so sad. Lambert didn’t deserve that. He would feel like Jaskier did after Essi, his tears wouldn’t stop, his body would hurt all the time, his breathing would hurt, breathing would be difficult. He would see those empty eyes, not able to do anything….

“Jaskier calm down” fake Aiden said. When did breathing become so difficult? Fake Aiden was reaching for him. Jaskier stepped away trying to close the door. Aiden pushed the door open, still moving closer to Jaskier. 

“Geralt” fake Aiden yelled, no! he would really kill Geralt. Jaskier tried to hit fake Aiden but his hand was so weak that fake Aiden caught it and used it to move Jaskier to the ground. “Stay down, kid. Geralt!” He yelled again. Geralt was with Roach, he wouldn’t hear them.

“Okay kid, take it easy. I’m calling Lambert”, fake or not fake Aiden moved him so he was on his side and took out his phone. Jaskier tried to calm his breathing. Aiden patted his back. That wasn’t something a fake Aiden would do right? Maybe this Aiden was real after all. 

“That’s it kid”. He was saying more but Jaskier his ears were ringing. Suddenly he was in Aiden his arms moving through the house. He was put down on his bed. Aiden was moving. Aiden squeeze his cheeks open his mouth. And there was his puffer. 

It took a few minutes before Jaskier felt like he could breathe again. “You with me?” Aiden asked. He looked very concerned. Jaskier nodded to feeling like talking yet. Aiden picked up the phone. “It works Lam, he is calm”. Aiden pushed a button on his phone and moved it closer to Jaskier. “You're on speaker, Lambert” Aiden said.

“Hey kid, my boyfriend is breathtaking right. I already knew that. How are you?” Jaskier almost grabbed the phone. He needed Lambert,

“I thought he wasn’t real…. He...could be an imposter…. to kill Geralt or rob you” he was still out of breath. Lambert laughed. 

“It’s the real one. I’m sorry I wanted to tell you this morning but you and Eskel were sleeping so sweet. But it’s okay. I will call Geralt so he can come and see you. He is probably riding Roach in the woods. Until then Aiden will help you. He is a doctor too” Lambert explained. “Can you do that kiddo, no more panic attacks?”. 

“Yeah… I’m glad Aiden is real” he said. If Aiden hadn’t been real he did a bad job protecting the brothers he thought. Instead of fighting or getting help he got a panic attack. Well he already knew he was an idiot. Aiden turned the phone off and got Geralt his stethoscope. 

“Can I check your lungs?” he asked. Jaskier nodded. Aiden was a bit like Eskel, he first patted his shoulder before warming the stethoscope. He listened longer than Geralt and Eskel did, asking him to sigh a few times. After that he put a hand on Jaskier his forehead.

“You have a low fever. I could be from the stress. Did you feel unwell before?” Aiden asked. Jaskier bit his lip. Aiden seemed nice enough.

“I was just tired and cold. Oh and my throat hurt a bit. I walked in the rain yesterday. I could have caught a cold” he said. He hoped it wouldn’t be true. He hated colds. 

“That sounds like a cold. Take it easy for a few days. Would you like to get under the covers and sleep” Aiden asked gently. Jaskier decided that he liked Aiden. He understood why Lambert fell in love with him.

“Yeah I would like that. Aiden will you tell me how you and Lambert fell in love?” Aiden smiled and helped Jaskier undress.

“Well, I worked as an neurologist in the hospital. I always found Lambert very hot but I never talked to him, until I became head of the neurology department” he tucked Jaskier in and sat down next to him.

“I had a lot of meetings with Lambert. I found out he wasn’t just hot, but also very smart, funny and so kind. I didn’t dare to make a move” Jaskier said Aiden was a good storyteller. Aiden went to turn off the lights. 

“He was my boss. And I was sure he would feel the same way. One day he invited me for a congress in Vizima. It was very romantic. We ate dinner in the moonlight and for a walk and when we sat down on a bench in a beautiful park. He asked if he could kiss me. After that many more romantic nights followed” Aiden said. Jaskier couldn’t really inmange Lambert as a romanticus. Would that mean Geralt could be romantic too? He found it hard to believe.

“Can you tell me more. I was in love two with a man. Until yesterday because yesterday I fell out of love” he told Aiden. Aiden smiled and ruffled his hair.

“Of course, I could tell you about our night on the beach. We had a picnic….

The door of his bedroom flew open, it broke the magic and Jaskier sat up shocked.


	14. Oh Roach, What should I do?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jaskier hears Geralt talk to Roach. It’s really upsets him

Chapter 14 Oh Roach, What should I do?

“Jaskier” Geralt rushed in. Turning the light on. Aiden climbed off the bed the moment was over.

“He got a panic attack. But when I listened to his lungs they didn’t sound clear. He also has a low grade fever, sore throat and has been feeling cold and tired” Aiden went into doctors mode and explained. Jaskier looked sad at the empty spot where Aiden had been sitting. How would he learn about the picnic on the beach now. 

“You should have told me,” Geralt said. Angrily pulling his shirt up to listen to his lungs himself. Jaskier ignored him, he just sent Aiden a thankful look. Aiden smiled back.

“Hmmm, a cold” Geralt said, also checking Jaskier for a few. “You should sleep”. 

Jaskier sighed. “Aiden already told you that. And he already diagnosed the cold and the fever”. Geralt gave Aiden a dirty look like he was offended by that. “Don’t be mean to Aiden, he helped me. Without him I would still be laying in the hall trying to catch my breathing” Jaskier said. Geralt seemed to consider that.

“We will get you an alarm necklace” he said looking far too pleased with himself. 

“I will not wear a stupid alarm nechlace until I turn at least ninety” he told Geralt. The idea that he was going to wear a big, ucly necklace like that. No way! Geralt brought him some pills and water.

“Take them and sleep” Jaskier took the pills and closed his eyes. Sleep sounds good, he was tired. He heard Aiden and Geralt leave the room but they didn’t close the door. 

…….

Jaskier woke up a few hours later. Aiden went to sleep in Lambert his room, apparently, Lambert was in there too. Jaskier did feel a lot better. That was probably because of the pills but that didn’t really matter right?

He climbed out of his bed and dressed himself. Maybe he could do some work. He decided to look for Geralt to ask him what he could do. Geralt his coat and boots were gone so he was probably in the stables. 

Jaskier quickly stepped in his shoes and walked to the stables. For a small walk like that he didn’t need a coat. A shiver went through his body. The door of the stable was open. Jaskier saw Geralt talking to a beautiful brown horse. Roach. He saw him ride her a few times. Roach was Geralt his favorite horse. He just went to step in the stables when Geralt started talking.

“Oh Roach. He is angry with me. Yennefer said some stupid things. I did as well. I don’t understand why I care so much. He is loud, sickly and doesn’t do his job right”. Jaskier swallowed Geralt was talking about him. Why didn’t he do his job right? Geralt never commented or complained about anything. And he had been sick for two weeks! Okay he was sick a lot. But they knew that before they hired him, they couldn’t blame him for that. And loud, well he guessed that one was true he was loud sometimes.

“He is important for us Roach. I feel better since he is here. I like his jokes, his music. And I respect him so much. He lived on his own Roach. Life wasn’t kind to him but he managed to survive. I could learn from him. He handles everything so much better then I ever did” Jaskier felt himself smile. Geralt respected him? Thought he was handling everything well. Geralt continued.

“They others like him too.Eskel sees him as his surrogate kid I think. Eskel is sad sometimes because he doesn’t have kids. Jaskier told him he wished that Eskel was his father. Eskel cried after that so happy he was. Eskel and Jaskier deserve each other”. Jaskier didn’t even remember that conversation anymore. But he guessed Geralt was right. He probably did see Eskel as a father. A father figure at least. He never realized how much that meant for Eskel. He thought Eskel would treat anyone like that. He didn’t think Eskel saw him as something special. Because he wasn’t, he was just Jaskier. 

“And Lambert, he has gotten better since Aiden but he loves the kid. Jaskier laughed at his jokes, and he listened to his advice. I think he got fatherly feelings for him as well. Different ones as Eskel has. Lambert likes to make sure nobody gets in trouble or to get people out of trouble. Eskel likes to care more. He likes to hug. He let Jaskier sleep in his bed. I saw that today. I got angry about that” Jaskier never heard Geralt talk so much before. He couldn’t stop listening. He knew he should walk away or let Geralt know he was here but he couldn’t. He needed to know what else Geralt would tell Roach. 

“I shouldn’t have gotten angry. I know Jaskier isn’t in love with Eskel. He is in love with me, Roach. Do you believe it. From every person in the world he chooses me. I’m broken Roach. It stupid to fall in love with me. A broken man” Geralt voice cracked a bit. Jaskier wanted to run in and hug him, tell him he wasn’t broken but he didn’t. How did Geralt even know he had been in love with him? How long did he know?

“I tried to save him from Yennefer yesterday. But she knew the moment she walked in. She got jealous of course. You know Roach, we didn’t even have sex yesterday. We fight. She was angry. I got angry too”. Jaskier hated Yennefer even more for getting angry at Geralt. But he was a bit relieved she didn’t have sex with Geralt.

“I don’t think I will see her for some time now. I don’t want to. I think. I hope Jaskier will forgive me and fall out of love with me. I don’t deserve it. I’m not a good boyfriend. Renfri died, I only hurt Yennefer. I won’t hurt Jaskier, well I try”. Jaskier heart Geralt's voice breaks. He almost had to cry himself. Why was Geralt so hard on himself? Didn't he see how amazing he was, how kind and caring?

“I try to keep him safe, but even at that I fail. He got sick again today. It’s my fault again. He went outside too long yesterday. You see Roach I’m not even his boyfriend and he already got hurt because of me. It’s better this way. He will find someone else to love and maybe one day I will get over this feeling as well”. Jaskier was crying now, Geralt did love him! But he didn’t let himself. He didn’t think Jaskier deserved him. Oh if Geralt only knew. Geralt was moving in the stable. Jaskier had to move. Geralt couldn’t know he was here. 

He quickly walked to the pound where Geralt and he talked about Essi. The mother duck and her little ducks were still there. He fell on the ground on the same spot and cried. Why was Geralt so hard on himself. How could Jaskier help him? Geralt shouldn’t feel like that. How much guilt did he carry?

He cried until he didn’t have any tears left, it started raining some time ago, the drops were beautiful in the water, even the sky cried for Geralt Jaskier thought. Good Geralt deserved that. He looked at the water and thought about the day that Geralt tried to help him with Essi. How could he not see how special he was? Jaskier decided that he was going to change that. He went over all kinds of different ways in his head to do that. He made at least six plans that he didn’t consider good enough. It was difficult. 

“Jaskier, thank god there you are”. Lambert was running to him. He was wearing a rain jacket. Jaskier only then realized he was soaked wet, shivering and very cold. He looked at his fingers, they were almost blue. When did that happen? How long had he been sitting here? It must have been an hour at least. It didn’t feel that long

Lambert kneeled in front of him. “Kid can you hear me?” He took Jaskier his hand to take his pulse.

“I can hear you. I’m a bit cold Lambert” he said. It was an understatement. Cold was suddenly the only thing he could think of. Lambert picked him up in his arms and walked as fast as he could to the house. What was Lambert warm!

“I want Geralt,” he whispered. Geralt deserved a hug and kind words and love and Jaskier wanted to give it to him right now.

“I’m sorry kid Geralt is looking for you in the city. You gotta do it with me right now”. Why was Geralt looking for him in the city? He didn’t understand. He was right here!

Lambert took him to his bathroom and turned to start a bath. “Lambert I don’t understand”. Lambert quickly undressed him and placed him in the bath. He still held Jaskier his shoulder like he was afraid Jaskier would pass out and answered then.

“You went missing at least three hours ago. We went looking for you. I was just going to call the police when I saw you. Kid what happened?” He asked while rubbing Jaskier his arm.

“I was just going to ask Geralt what kind of work I needed to do” he said, deciding not to tell Lambert everything. He didn’t want Geralt to know he had been listening to him. 

There was a sound in the house and someone closed the front door. “In the bathroom, I found him” Lambert yelled. Jaskier hoped that Geralt would run in but Eskel and Aiden appeared.

“Thank god, sweetheart” Eskel fell on his knees next to the bath. He went to take Jaskier his hand under the water, not caring it soaked his sweater. Jaskier saw a small tear in his eye.

“Don’t cry Eskel,” he said. Eskel was so steady and never emotional. He never cried. Well not in front of Jaskier at least. 

“Oh sweetheart. You scared me so much. You were sick and missing and it started to rain. I was so afraid”. He went to kiss Jaskier on his head. It was nice. 

“How is he?” Aiden asked sitting next to Lambert.

“Medium case of hypothermia. He doesn’t really remember what happened only that he went looking for Geralt. His fever probably caused him some confusion. I found him on time. He will be fine” Lambert said. Jaskier heard the relief in his voice.

“Shall I prepare an iv? He is dehydrated and if his fever really was so high before it’s probably not going to be an easy night” Aiden said looking from Eskel to Lambert.

“You needed to work,” Jaskier said, trying to point at Aiden, Aiden had a night shift and he remembered that.

“Well if you date the boss you get a day off when there is a family emergency” Aiden laughed.

“We are family now. You are Lambert his boyfriend, so you are his family. Lambert said I’m his family too. So we met today and we already are family” his head felt a little off, he wasn’t sure if he was making sense.

“Sure Jaskier, Aiden please arrange the iv. The kid is going to need it” Lambert said, shaking his head. 

“I’m naked” Jaskier looked at his body and at the three doctors. “You all have seen me naked. I never saw any of you naked”. He had been naked around the brothers multiple times now. They never cared. Geralt even washed him once. How would Geralt look naked?

“Let’s keep it that way” Aiden said while he walked out of the room.

“I want to see Geralt naked” he slept his hand against his mouth. Did he really say that? He must be really sick. Lambert was laughing and Eskel tried to keep his face straight.

“You can ask him if you're better,” Lambert said. “Let's get you dressed first”. Lambert and Eskel worked together to get him dry and into his soft pyjamas. They moved him to his bed where Aiden put an iv in his arm. It hurt a bit.

“Let's take a look at you,” Lambert said, putting his medical bag on the bed. 

There was a sound in the house. “Geralt is back,” Jaskier said, trying to sit up. Lambert kept him down. 

“You can ask him to show you his naked body later. First I would like to give your body some attention.


	15. Family

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jaskier realized how lucky he is with his new found family.

Chapter 15 family

Jaskier didn’t see Geralt for a few days. What he was aware of at least. He was floating in and out of sleep. He asked for him a few times but Lambert told him Geralt was blaming himself and kept his distance. 

Lambert and Aiden took care of him most of the time. Lambert worked in his room and was in charge of his medicine. Aiden was there when Lambert couldn’t. He was very nice. Jaskier felt redicules for thinking Aiden could ever hurt him. Aiden told him a lot of stories about him and Lambert. Jaskier loved those stories. But it made him miss Geralt more. 

Sometimes Eskel was there but not much. It was busy in his department. Most of the time he would just lay next to Jaskier so they could watch a movie together. Jaskier missed him sometimes because he slept when Eskel came to visit him. 

Apparently it seems after a few days that it was still a bad cold combinated with a very high fever and hadn’t turned into pneumonia to everyone's relief. It had been close Aiden said. He had been fever free for a day and now he better, a sort of at least. He still had to take it easy and wear warm clothes when we went outside. 

Jaskier woke up again. His room was dark and he was alone. For the first time in days we was alone!. He looked at his arm and saw that the IV was gone. So he was really getting better. He suddenly felt very lonely. He climbed out of his bed and crossed the hall. He went to Eskel his room and climbed into the older man his bed.

“Jaskier are you okay?” a sleepy Eskel sat up and looked at Jaskier. Jaskier immediately tried to get in his arms. ‘Hug me’ he thought. 

“Yeah I just don’t want to be alone. I’m not feeling sick anymore” Eskel touched his forehead before pulling him on his chest.

“Alright, do you want to sleep or tall” Eskel asked when he tucked them both in. Eskel his blanket was so soft and warm. Jaskier loved it.

“Sleep, you're tired,” Jaskier said. He wasn’t going to keep Eskel up. He worked so hard, he needed his sleep.

“You sure sweetheart?” Eskel checked. Jaskier nodded and closed his eyes. He always had nice dreams when he slept with Eskel.

…

Jaskier opened his eyes. The chest he was laying on was harder then normal. Eskel had muzzles but his chest felt soft. This chest was very hard. This wasn’t Eskel! He thought. When he realized that, he was direct completely awake. He moved his head to see where he was. He saw the white hair and yellow eyes. He was on Geralt his chest.

“I thought I was sleeping with Eskel” he said it sounded very unsure. Did he go to the wrong room? Had he been dreaming or something? Did he really climb in Geralt his bed? 

“Eskel needed to work. You slept so peacefully that he dropped you in my bed” Jaskier felt his cheeks flush. So Eskel carried him in his sleep to Geralt his room and dropped him on Geralt his chest. And Geralt wasn’t mad? He even looked happy and comfortable. He should say something to him, something nice. 

“I’m in love with you. And it’s never your fault when I get sick” he said, putting his head on Geralt his shoulder. He waited for Geralt to respond. He felt a bit nurveus. 

“I won’t stop feeling quilty for fighting with you and giving you the feeling that you have to spend the day outside. And I know you love me and I like you too. But we both are not ready for this Jaskier” Jaskier swallowed of course Geralt would think that. He had to convince him otherwise. He probably thought that he was too broken. 

“I’m ready and you are too. You're so kind and you take care of me so well. I really love you” Jaskier said. Geralt put his hand around his arm squeezing it a bit.

“Jaskier, you're very important to me. I dare to say I love you. But you just lost Essi and I have some stuff to figure out myself. I really want us to have a chance. A fair chance. Maybe we could make each other happy. But not now. Later. I am willing to wait if you are too”. Jaskier concentrated on Geralt his breathing. If he was honest Geralt was right he wasn’t ready for a relationship yet. But he did wanted Geralt even if that meant waiting for some time. 

“Yes I will. Of course I will wait for you Geralt” he said. “But aren’t you angry with me anymore? Last time we really spoke you demanded an apology from me” he didn’t forget the whole Yennefer situation.

“Forget about that. You owe me nothing. Just, just don’t change. I like you just the way you are” Geralt said kissing his hair. Jaskier moved a bit and couldn't catch Geralt his eyes.

“But I’m not funny, or beautiful or smart or rich. I’m an idiot. Who gets sick and in trouble all the time. Don’t you want me to change that?” Geralt should be annoyed with that right. He told Roach that at least. 

“Jaskier you shouldn’t be so insecure, you are funny and smart. I think you are very beautiful. Yes I hope you won’t get sick as often anymore but that is hardly your fault. You are so not an idiot. You are Jaskier and you are perfect” Jaskier couldn’t believe it. Did Geralt call him perfect? Was there really someone on this earth who thought that he was perfect!

“Are you serious Geralt? Because if you are joking with me” Geralt shook his head and pulled him close to him. He slowly gave him a sweet and little kiss on his lips.

“You are more than perfect. And I hope you enjoy that kiss because you have to wait at least a few months before I kiss you again”. Jaskier hit him playfull.

“You can’t do that, you can’t give me my first kiss and then tell me to wait for months”. Geralt picked him up and set him on his feed next to the bed. 

“I just did, get dressed. I have a task for you” Jaskier giggled and tried to get on their bed again.

“But yesterday I had a fever, shouldn’t you not tell me to take it easy to and lay in your arms for days” Geralt pushed him out of his bed again and climbed out himself.

“I got an easy task for you. Don’t worry. Get lunch or breakfast first it is late” he went to his bathroom and Jaskier heard him turn the shower on. Should he take a look? He really wanted to see Geralt naked. He almost did, but Geralt wouldn’t see the fun in that and it was a bit wierd, so he left to go to his own room. 

In his room he touched his lips. Geralt had kissed him. He got his first kiss. It had been quick and it didn’t have tongue or anything but it was something and it had been perfect. He picked up his phone and chose Eskel his number. 

“Jaskier?” Eskel said. Eskel never called him at work.

“I got my first kiss, Eskel. Geralt gave me a kiss. On my lips. He didn’t use tongue or anything but it still counts right” he needed Eskel to confirm it counted as a kiss.

“Congratulations Jaskier. Of course it counts. Does this mean you and Geralt are together now?” Eskel asked.

“No we aren’t ready yet. We first have to figure things out. We will wait for each other. It will probably take a couple of months before he kisses me again. But that doesn’t matter right?” Jaskier was jumping from one foot on the other. He was so happy.

Eskel laughed “No that doesn’t matter. I think that is very smart of you two. You both know now that you two like each other. And now you both first need get your lives like you want them to be. And you too could still do things together and get to know each other better”. Jaskier nodded even though Eskel couldn’t see that.

“Oh Eskel I’m so happy” He yelled into the phone. 

“I know sweetheart, I know. But I got patients waiting for me. Go tell Lambert and Aiden they are somewhere in the house” Jaskier liked that idea. He couldn’t wait to tell them as well. 

“I will thank you Eskel”. 

…..  
It didn’t take Jaskier that long to find Lambert. He was sitting on blankets on the grass with Aiden. They were drinking wine and they had some strawberry cake. Jaskier sat down next to them.

“Jaskier we were having a moment here” Lambert said annoyed before really looking at him. “Are you really stupid. Your first day without a fever and you get out without a coat. Go get a coat and scarf and then you are allowed to interrupt our date again” Lambert told him. Jaskier guessed it was a fair request and he hurried inside to get his coat and scarf. 

After putting them on he went back to Aiden and Lambert again. “I got my first kiss” he said. 

“Fantastic kid. Who was the lucky one. Your teddy?” Lambert joked. Jaskier gave him a mean look. 

“Don’t listen to him kid, tell me everything” Aiden said smiling.

“Eskel dropped me on Geralt his bed, so we talked. We both are in love with each other but we are not going to be boyfriends yet, we are going to wait a few months to figure somethings out. But he kissed me on my lips” he touched his lips. They felt different since this morning, since the kiss. Like they were more alive now.

“You kissed my brother” Lambert said, shaking his head. “I don’t want to know that”.

“You lucky Jaskier, I can tell from experience that a Rivia man is worth waiting for. Do you want some strawberry cake to celebrate?” Aiden asked and moved to get the cake. 

“You baked that for me, because we are six months together” Lambert said.

“And we are sharing it now. You can get a big piece Jaskier" Aiden said laughing. 

“Wait isn’t there anything in there that could hurt him? Geralt would kill us for killing his soon to be boyfriend” Lambert said looking at the cake.

“Is there anything in your kitchen that is dangerous to him?” Aiden asked. Stopping with cutting the cake, first wanted to hear Lambert his answer.

“No, then it is safe for him, Geralt threw everything possibly dangerous out. He tense to get a bit protective. Aiden handed Jaskier a big piece of cake.

“This all would never have happened Lambert, if I hadn’t dared to ask you to catch me. Then I would never have met you, I would ever have lived here. I would never get my first kiss from the most sexy person on earth” Jaskier said while eating the cake. That day in the hospital really changed his life. Who could have thought his phobia would bring him so much. 

“Don’t call my brother the most sexy person on earth Jaskier. It sounds wrong” Lambert complained, getting a piece of cake himself. 

“Indeed because my boyfriend is already the most sexy man on earth” Aiden joked and Lambert hit him playful on his chest. 

“I just want to say Lambert, thank you for helping me out that day and all the times you did afterwards”. Lambert smiled.

“You welcome kid, I would do it all again”. He gave Jaskier a quick hug before moving to hug Aiden as well. 

“I’m so happy,” Jaskier whispered, looking at the two man. He found a family and love. And for the first time in his life he was truly happy. 

“Can we join you?” Eskel and Geralt walked in the garden. Jaskier looked surprised.

“You had to work,” he yelled at Eskel. Eskel and Geralt sat down on the blanket.

“Yeah, well, maybe I’m taking the day off. Don’t tell my boss. I didn’t want to miss your first kiss party” Eskel smiled, taking a piece of cake from Aiden.

“You told them,” Geralt said surprised.

“Of course I did, they are my family” Jaskier said and he took Geralt his hand in his. “They help me when I am sad, or in trouble or sick but they also celebrate with me when I’m happy and I don’t believe someone can be more happy than I’m today,” He said looking at the four man around him on the blanket. He had been so extremely lucky!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for your reading this story. I was so nervous when I started uploading it. I really hope you enjoined reading it as much as I did when I wrote it. 
> 
> Wednesday I will start uploading part 2, a little spoiler Aiden is going to ask Lambert a big question 💍

**Author's Note:**

> I hoped you enjoy this story. Thank you so much for reading!
> 
> Kodus are greatly appreciated! :)
> 
> If you want to chat, beta-read a story, have a plot suggestion for me or something completely different I’m Kapoentjes on Tumblr. I love writing so if you like something specific let me know 😊  
> Link Tumblr: https://kapoentjes.tumblr.com/


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